mixtape // a.i. [au]

note

dear ashton,

dying.

certainly it couldn't be that bad.

of course hell could be a consequence.

but that's all death is... a consequence. i guess it's the consequence. the consequence of living.

death was bound to happen anyway. you were born to die and i am born to die, too. my death day could tomorrow, it could be in a month, it could even be 47 years from now.

i'm not complaining about it either.

i didn't want to make this letter about death and write this to someone who has experienced it. i just want to tell you i love you and miss you and would do anything to have you back.

i probably should be mourning or grieving or whatever the hell most people do when they loose a loved one. but instead, i'm here writing a letter and making a mixtape for someone who has left the face of the earth for good.

my friends are calling me crazy and my family is saying i need help.

but i'm not crazy and i don't need help.

you always told me that music can take away pain if you loose yourself enough in it.

i always believed you.

that's why i'm making a mixtape.

maybe if i make a playlist of songs that remind me of you, you won't be gone. maybe you'll come back to life somehow like in those ludicrous novels.

of course i don't believe in them.

long story short, i miss you and i know you won't ever read this or listen to this collection of songs that is attached to this letter, but i'm going to do anything i can that makes it seem like you aren't gone.

if you ever do listen to this assortment of songs, know that they all remind me of you and the times we spent together and i would do anything to relive them.

love,

mabel.

---

[a/n]

hey y'all

i deleted my last story (desolation) because i had no idea where i was going with it.

it was turning out to be really cheesy even though i was on the first chapter.

anyways,

i know there are many other fanfictions called 'mixtape' but i think my story is going to be way different than the other books.

and yes,

ashton is dead

(go ahead, shoot me)

but at least i didn't let you fall in love with him and then kill him

*cough* john green *cough*

plleeeaaaassssseeeeee vote & comment

i love you guys so so so much!