I feel empty. Like my life has no purpose or meaning. I mean, I'm in cheerleading, I have a job, I have a few friends. But, I just can't help but feel like something's missing. There is a void or even a hole in my soul that I just don't know how to fill. I've been trying for so long to figure out what is not present. Without any luck, I'm still going forward.
It might be the fact that I am not happy doing any of these things. I just took a short period of time to think about the solution. I may have figured it out. I'm only doing any of the activities in my life to make others happy. I'm never doing what pleases me.
For example, I'm doing Cheerleading in High School right now to make my family happy and proud of me. I would rather do something like Peaceful Protesting, or doing some form of activist work to spread equality and love in my town. Another one, I am wearing girly things or being more feminine so I don't have to hear Mi Familia bitch at me for looking more masculine. I'm way more comfortable in joggers and a graphic tee, compared to a really low v-neck shirt with jeans so tight that you can see the outline of my curves. Fuck a bra! A sports bra is way more comfortable. And I'm not trying to impress anyone so, what's the point of even looking pretty and all dolled up for no one. If I want to get dressed up then I will throw on my white button up shirt with black skinny jeans, and a beanie or snapback. I would rather be comfortable than to the point to where I would rather be naked in public than wearing some frilly dress.
