E-mails: Dear... 》a.i

VII

It's been two days since Ashton left and he haven't wrote to me again.

So I was right...

I knew I was just a girl for him.

I never meant something to him.

He never wanted to talk with me, maybe he wanted sex? I don't know...

He's just an asshole, like every boy in the whole world.

What was I thinking? Why would a superstar ever been interested in me? I'm just a normal girl.

And there's a lot of beautiful girls out there.

I got off of my bed and grabbed my phone, what I found? Nothing.

And I really wished there was something.

This is it, I don't know why I got excited about him, I mean, I just met him once and was like for 30 minutes, whatever, I don't even care.

What I'm saying, I care.. Obviously I care but I don't want to.

Fuck off.

I layed on my bed turning on the TV hoping to find some movie. I'm feeling so bad.. I don't know what actually is happening to me.

I've never had feelings for someone that I don't known at all. I actually have never had feelings for someone.

I don't fall in love easily...

I feel so stupid tho. I believed in him because he looks so nervous asking me for my e-mail and his eyes...His eyes were perfect. They shined so bright and there was something in his eyes that gave me hope. Hope for something. I don't know what it was. Maybe life? Maybe friendship? Maybe love?

But I was wrong, I'm always wrong.

I was about to fall sleep again and when I closed my eyes, I heard music coming from the next room.

"I wish that I could wake up with amnesia" Danny sang... That stupid song made me feel worst.

I left my room and got into hers "Can you please shut the fuck up? That song is pretty annoying and I'm trying to sleep."

I knew I was mean to her and I may have hurt her feelings but that song just reminds me how stupid I am for believing that me and that stupid Aussie could have had something.

"Chill out" Danny frowned "What's wrong with you? You've never said something like that to me. And at the concert I looked at you when they played the song and you seem like you were enjoying it. " She turned off the radio and sat in the bed.

"Some things change, you know? And nothing, I'm okay, why?" I shrugged playing with my hair trying to convince her.

"I know you... Do I have to remember you that I'm your sister? Now tell me, what's wrong?" Danny said looking me in the eyes.

"Nothing... Really. I'm fine, I'm completely fine" I sighed "Wanna have breakfast?" I gave up. I mean, now I would not be able to sleep again.

(...)

After we had breakfast, Danny asked me if I could drive her to her friends place.

I had nothing to do, so I accepted.

I went upstairs to have a shower. And by a shower I mean a long long shower. I know this may sound weird but there's the only place where I can clear my mind without being interrupted by someone.