The New Guy

Prologue

Hey guys, here is my new story 'The New Guy'.  I hope you guys like it because I am actually really proud of it.  I will say now that there will be some serious trigger warnings, such as depression and self-harm, so if this triggers you please don't read because I want you all to stay safe.  The rest of you, I hope you enjoy!

This prologue was written by my buddy ImJustAmplified, from when we were doing a different story, with some editing done by me to make it fit my style of writing.

When I was little my dad and mom were madly in love, but by the time I became ten my parents fought nonstop to the point where one would just leave and stay in a motel for the night. At the time this felt like the worst thing in the world. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night. I would hide, crouching in the corner of my small room, with my head in my lap, just hugging myself and crying my little eyes out until I got so tired I just fell asleep right there.

Five years ago my parents got a divorce, and my mother got full custody. My mother hates me, and has ever since the day she found out she was pregnant. She had wanted to abort me, but luckily (or maybe unluckily) my father talked her out of it, and of course she listened because that was when they were "soulmates".

Week after week, my mom wouldn't come home till two maybe three in the morning drunk. I still remember the smell of all that alcohol the first time she hit me physically. She screamed at me that night, just screaming and yelling at me, saying that dad left us because of my birth and my "ugliness". She would slap, scratch, kick, punch, and anything else that would hurt me. One time she burned me with her cigar. I started cutting and starving myself my freshman year of high school, realizing she was right. I'm useless, fat, ugly, unwanted, unloved, hated, and much worse. I realized she was right about everything.

Eventually I realized it wasn't only my mother who hated me. Kids at school would bully me; calling me ugly, fat, gross, stupid, emo, and so much more. A few times some of the tougher girls have even beaten me up. I don't know why. I have never done anything to them.

I've thought about suicide but I knew that's just cowardly and won't truly solve anything. I try to believe things will get better one day, but it's just so hard.

I only have two friends, who knowonly know a very small amount of what really goes on in my life and that's the way I like it. They are the only two people in the entire world who even give a single shit about me, and I'm terrified if they find out they will realized how worthless I really am and hate me just as much as everyone else.

I am useless. Pathetic. A waste of space. I am Rosalia Nina Ramirez. My name holds nothing and means nothing because that's exactly what I am.

Nothing.

And that's the prologue.  The official first chapter is already written so it will be up shortly.

See you next update...