"ahh, our little Cindy is leaving to be a trainee tommorow huh?" Dallia chuckled
"ohh, the last day we can mess with you" Nia said
Ever since Jinyoung left to be a trainee, I've been getting bullied, I get kicked around like trash, and get beaten up a lot I really needed him. I realize that he is the source of this, but he is also the only person who can stop it, I never told Jinyoung or the others because I didn't want them to worry. Thank god it's my last day.
"Yah, Cindy"
I looked up to see Yenny
"Y-yenny what are you doing here? I thought you were a trainee now" I studdered
"namjoon called me here and broke up with me all because of you" she said with a bitter smile and punched me at the same spot.
for about 10 minutes they finished beating me up and left me in the hallway, I struggled to get to my room, whimpering at every step I took, I looked in the mirror and broke down. I was feeling sad, happy, regretful, hurt, everything is mixed up, I cleansed the blood on my cheek bone and started to pack after I took a shower.
Me and Nam Joon met in front of the building and took the bus on our way to Big hit entertainment. It was really hot, but I can't wear short sleeves anymore.. I couldn't. It really sucked, being in a depressed state for a couple months leads to self harm, why was I harming myself when everybody else was already doing it for me? I guess they never gave me a turn to beat myself up too. I felt like.. I deserved it I guess.
We seperated and entered our dorms, I had one with 3 other girls but.. I didn't really talk to them and they didn't bother talking to me either. The new Trainees were summoned to go to the dance studio. We were introducing and then the teachers started talking about the sceudeles and the intensity of the training. We were told that we would be meeting the big three entertainment trainees from JYP, YG, and SM. Jinyoung was in JYP. But for some reason, I wasn't bothered as much as I would have been before
the Next morning we had to go to the practice room early as fuck, we were told that we had to do singing and dancing with our roomates, they all handed up pre-written songs plus the instrumental but we were supposed to create our own choreography, honestly I couldn't sing for shit so they made me the rapper and I made some of the main choreography parts.
after practice me and NamJoon met up, he had friends but he hung out with me because I'm kind of an outccast, but it's much better than getting bullied.
"you got something on your mind?" Nam Joon asked
"huh? Yeah.." I hesitatingly replied
"what's up?" he said
"it's about the trainee meet-up" I said "Jinyoung is in JYP"
"ohh.. Not over him yet?" he sighed
"I'm over him" I replied "but I am still confused about the reaso why he broke it off"
"you totally like him" he replied
"no I'm not, if I still liked him I would've told you" I said
"ehhh" he said "you can't get over him that easily"
"maybe" I started "maybe I wasn't in love with him, I just thought I was... I've always felt like I needed to like him so I forced myself through it, I liked him at one point, but I don't think it was love, I felt something, but it isn't enough to be desribed as love, you know?"
~one week later~
Our entertainments decided to have NamJoon and 6 other boys dance for the trainee meetup, it's amazing because Nam Joon has only been here for a week and he's already with the other experienced trainees. The Trainee meet-up was at the beach where me and Jinyoung had our date, where I thought I fell in love with him.
After the preperation, each trainee group chosen, would perform, I saw Jinyoung and another trainee who I believe is Jaebum doing a Duo performance, NamJoon went on with 6 guys (one of them was a former JYP trainee), after YG was SM. After when the performances were finished everybody got to chill.
"Cindy!" I heard a farmiliar voice yell
I turned around to see Jinyoung, I plastered a painful fake smile on my face
"annyeong Jinyoung"
"Can we please talk?" He asked with a worried expression
"yeah" I said. Normally I would ignore him, I'm still disapointed but I needed some answers, I can't spend my whole life wondering, right?
after a good 5 minutes of awkward silence I finally spoke up.
"yah, Jinyoung." I said stopping at the shore "why..why did you break up with me like that?"
"I didn't mean to hurt you like that, but I wanted you to get over me, because once we debut, dating won't be optional for us anymore, I didn't want us to break up in the future because of a stupid rule" he replied
"oh" I said, feeling relieved
"Cindy, I still really love you" he replied
"i'm sorry to say this Jinyoung" I started "I-I, I don't feel the same way, I never loved you"
"you don't love me?" he asked almost on the verge of tears "you never loved me?"
"I-I" I started "I wasn't in love with you, but I did feel something between us, and the feelings not the same anymore, I'm sorry" and I walked away
He grabbed my left arm a bit too tight, he shouldn't have done that. He let go noticing my sweater starting to become red, my cuts had open and the blood was damping my sweater, I held my arm close to me, taking in the pain. He backed away with a scared and shocked look.
"did...did I do this to you?" he studdered
"no, I did this to myself" I replied
he knelt down in the sand too ashamed to look up and meet my eyes.
"Yah, Jinyoung stop it it's no big deal" I said
"that" he pointed "I DID THAT TO YOU, HOW IS THIS NOT A BIG DEAL?"
I looked at him with sad eyes, a tear riding down my cheek.
"stop" I breathlessly said "it's my fault not yours"
"How long have you been blaming yourself?" he asked
I kept silent because I think we both knew the answer
He ran off somewhere and I just stood in my place. I wish that he never found out.
Nam Joon's POV:
I walked along the shore, away from the party for fresh air, as I was walking I tripped over something, I turned around and realized that it was a bottle that somebody threw in this beach, I remember throwing one in here before, maybe it was mine?
I picked it up and sat just a few feet away from where the tide swept the sand, I opened the bottle and took out the letter contained in it, I realized it wasn't mines after the read it, but it was shocking.
in the letter it said:
"My biggest fear is falling in love with Nam Joon"
-Cindy Pham
YOU ARE READING
Not another triangle love story (got7&bts fanfic)
Fanfiction"one day, you're going to fall hopelessly in love with me, but if I wait too long, you can lose me." Dedicated to my sister; cindy PLEASE DO NO REPUBLISH MY STORY, THE PLOT IS MINE.
