I can't think straight anymore | Larry Stylinson

Chapter 8

I walked home by myself after what happened. I didn't say anything to the other boys, what would I tell them? I just can't discuss this anymore. Maybe, maybe Simon were right? We should focus on X-factor at the moment, and after that me and Harry could be together.

~

I had finally reached my house, I stepped inside and was met by my mother. I love her but I do not need this right now.

- Honey what's wrong?! She said with a very worried voice.

- It, it's nothing mom.
But there obviously was something as I couldn't hold my tears back. My mom hugged me tight, she always helped me when I'm sad. It's kind of embarrasing to admit it but I'm definetly a mom's little boy.

- Come and sit down with me in the sofa sweetie. She said and lead me to the sofa.

As we both sat down the reached out for my hand and held it
- Tell me what's wrong honey, I would never judge you, you know that. Okay?

What am I supposed to tell her anyways? "Yeah you know that boy I met one week ago, we're boyfriends and I think we just broke up"?

- Sweetie.. I'm worried about you.

- Okay uhm, you know Harry yeah?

- Yes, the curlyheaded boy right? He's very sweet.

- Yeah him. We kind of, just, uhm.. I don't how to say this mom I'm sorry!
I said and once again bursted into tears

- Honey I wont judge you and if whatever is going on between you two is bothering you in any way than I would be very glad if you'd told me so I can help you.

- Okay. So, we're together. I quickly said

- Oh sweetie I know.

- What? How? Why didn't you say anything?

- I wanted to be sure, and if I were right about you two then I wanted you to be the one telling me.
But, why are you sad? Isn't it what you want?

- No it's not that! I want to be with him, like, more than anyone. But our management they, they said we couldn't be together.

- Why so?

- It'll destroy our chances in X-factor. Even Simon told us so!

- Honey, I'll talk to them.

- No! You can't! We've tried, they wont change their opinions and they said that if anyone argues they will kick us out of the band.

- But I'm your mother honey, they can't kick me out of a band I not in.

- Yeah true but, please can you do me the favor not to call them. Me and Harry will solve this. Okay? I love you mom but please, for me?

- Okay, if that's what you want. She said and hugged me once again.

I hugged her back, for a long time. I really loved my mom, she is always accepting me and my believes. Seemed like she accepted that I'm gay aswell. Wait, oh. Did I just? I'm to be honest not even sure if I'm gay, I might be bisexual.

After a while my mom let go off me as I stood up from the sofa, she smiled at me and walked away heading towards my room.

That evening I cried myself to sleep..

~

Three week later.

So it has been about five and half weeks of X-factor now.
Me and Harry didn't talk very much but we were still friendly with eachother. He seemed to be very hurt by what they had said to us and he told me that he wanted to think about  this alone for some time.