Let me help you out of darkness

Chapter 2

Everyone knew Dean Winchester found solace in a good bottle of whiskey. The bar he found was hunters' ground and no one was surprised to see Dean here. There were no condolences or reassurances. They were hunters, they knew better. Anyone who's anyone knew about the Winchester boys and their dangerous codependency problem. If Dean could, he would switch places with Sam in a heartbeat. No matter where Sam was. He was everything to Dean, everything.

He was approached an hour later by this woman, Molly? Millie? He wasn't too sure. All he knew was that she asked him if he wanted to have some fun and he started crying. Just like that. This girl with the long shaggy brown hair and deep hazel eyes made him cry like no tomorrow. She didn't know why of course, had no idea that she was the spitting image of Sam. So she ran off and left Dean in the bar, sinking deeper into a puddle of misery.

7, 8, 9 shots later and Dean called it a night. He didn't want to leave his Baby here so he got in the driver's seat and drove. He was too drunk, he knew that, but maybe this was how it was supposed to end for him? Maybe he should just di-

"What do you think you're doing?" The angel appeared out of nowhere, as he often did, and looked at Dean with those piercing blue eyes.

"Jesus Cas!" Dean pressed the brakes and the car stopped in the middle of the highway. Luckily it was too late for there to be anyone out on the road right now.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed Dean? You're far too drunk and you know it. So tell me, what do you think you are doing?" Cas looked angry, really angry, and Dean wasn't sure what to respond so he decided to go with the truth. He probably won't remember saying it in the morning anyway.

"I wanna b-be with Sammy, C-Cas. Imisshimso m-much. I can't Cas, I c-can't. I was supposed to pprotect him, I was supposed to save him. Let me d-die Cas, ple-ease. There ain't no me if there ain't no him."

Dean was crying and his words came out in tagged breaths. Castiel did not know what to do, he wasn't trained for this. He knew how to smite a demon, burn down a corrupted city, save the world. But not this, he didn't know how to deal with feelings and emotions.

"I'm so sorry Dean, I'm so sorry. I wish I could make it better for you Dean. If there was any spell that could take this pain away from you and be transferred to me, I would do it Dean. I would do it in an instant." Cas held Dean's face with his hands and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead.

"You have been through too much Dean Winchester. You cannot give up now, Sam wouldn't want that. He would want you to let go of him, to move on with your life. You know that."

Dean looked up at his angel and asked him the only reasonable thing at the time. "Stay the night Cas. P-please, I need you. I need y-"

"Shh, of course. I will drive us back to your home. Sleep, Dean Winchester, sleep."

He placed two fingers on Dean's forehead and willed for him to have a, if not peaceful, then bearable sleep. He switched Dean's place with his and started driving.

Maybe Dean could never move on. Maybe he would always be grieving for his brother. Maybe he would never want to truly live ever again. But then again maybe Castiel could change all that. He didn't know how yet, but he wanted to, he needed to. It was as if Dean was land and Castiel was a sailor at sea. No matter where he went he found himself pulled towards the elder Winchester, he really couldn't help it. He wanted Dean in so many ways that even he wasn't sure of yet, but Dean needed him. He needed a friend, a shoulder to cry on. Dean needed Castiel the angel, the one who he could rely on, the one who was powerful enough to take care of both of them, not Castiel the pathetic soldier who was slowly falling in love with the righteous man of all people.