Amber's p.o.v.
One month. And let me tell you that one month was a living hell for me. The first week not talking to Austin nearly killed me, and I'm not kidding.
One day i went into my bathroom and sat on the floor with my blade in my hand. I dont know what i was thinking but not having your best friend right there beside you was killing me. So i did it. I cut myself. I was two months clean and now without Austin that two months went down the drain. He was always there when i was about to give up and now he isn't.
He always told me to call if i needed a shoulder to cry on and i almost did call but i didnt. Not after he said i was sick in the head and that im an outcast. I knew he didnt mean it but its easy to believe it.
I know when people have a friend like me they get tired of dealing with them just like Austin got tired of dealing with me.
I'm a trainwreck. I'm worthless. Why do i even bother to exist. I know others have it worse but having social anxiety and constantly having panic attacks kills. And now that i found out last week i have depression makes it worse.
Without Austin makes it even worse.
And now here i am eating my salad at the corner table in the cafeteria. Whenever i look up i would always see Austin looking at me with a small smile and then look away.
Just seeing that smile made me feel a little bit better. Shit who am i kidding, just looking at him made me feel better.
I continued eating my salad when suddenly i sense someone walking towards me.
"hi Amber, how are you?"
I looked up and immediatly felt like throwing up. I wasn't expecting him to come over here, at least not here in the middle of the cafeteria (not really I'm in the corner but still people are looking and my anxiety level is going up).
"oh uh hi Austin, I'm fine."
i lied.
"no you're not, quit lying"
shit.
"how would you know, you haven't been here at all." I snapped back while getting up and throwing my tray away and walking out of the cafeteria.
As i was walking towards my locker Austin, of course follows me.
"Amber please just give me five minutes to explain,"
"why should i?"
"because I'm your best friend and you're mine."
He was leaning against the lockers now and it was starting to get harder to breathe around him. If only he knew how bad i wanted to kiss him right now. And not only that but i needed him. You see shortly after I stopped talking to him, I realized I loved him. I looked through our pictures and everything.
"five minutes, that's it."
And once i said that he smiled that goofy smile i love so much.
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you see, I changed the title of the chapter so I'm begging please reread this story lol.
