CAUTION!!!!!
SELF HARM! DO NOT READ IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT!
i'm sorry, but it's necessary. x
Rachel's POV:
I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I locked the door and got undressed, looking at all my scars. I had a lot. Most of them were from the accident but others had been aqquired purposely. I thought guiltily of my razor.
I don't like hurting myself, but it's my only release of all the pain bottled up inside me. Everytime I think of my friends in that accident, a wave of guilt flows through me for surviving.
It was so unfair! Why did I have to survive?
My eyes swam with tears and I grabbed my razor while hopping in the shower. The hot water ran over me and I sat down on the floor of the shower. I ran my fingers over the multiple scars running parrallel on my arms.
I gripped the razor tighter and thought of my friends again. A different memory ran through my mind as I placed the cool blade against my skin.
one cut - Tiffany's face, twisted in pain, her hair soaked in blood, crying out for help, begging me to help her.
another cut - Joel's blank eyes, staring into nothingness. His body twisted in different directions with the bone sticking out of one of his arms.
a third cut - Zac, in the front seat, face crushed into the steering wheel, his neck at an odd angle, clearly broken, shards of glass sticking into his skin.
a fourth and final one - Chloe, thrown out of the passenger seat and through the windshield. her body caught on the broken glass, eyes looking into space.
Relief swept over me as the familiar tingling pain prickled across my arm. Crimson beads of blood crawled along my arm until the dripped to the floor.
After a while the bleeding stopped and I turned off the shower. I wrapped the towel around me and put on the first clothes I could find. I shrugged on my trackies and a long sleeved t-shirt and walked out of my room to explore the house.
Niall's POV:
I heard the shower turn on from my room. I continued skyping my new bandmates. I was home for a few weeks before I left to start filming the X-factor.
After a while, the shower turned off. I waited a few minutes before going to see if Rachel was okay. I walked into her room and she was gone.
I walked quickly out of her room and down the corridoor to the kitchen. I saw her sitting at the table spinning an apple round in her hands. I walked over and sat on the chair opposite her. She looked up at me for a second and went back to spinning the apple. There was silence for a while - not awkward silence, just thinking.
I noticed she stopped spinning the apple and was just staring at it. I chuckled.
'You know, you can eat it if you want.'
she looked up at me, 'hm?'
Rachel's POV:
'I said, you can eat the apple if you want.' he laughed.
I faked a smile, 'yeah.' I took a tiny bite of it and set it back on the table.
'how are you feeling?' he asked
