Their journey to the military base isn't long enough.
There is snow falling around them, light and soft. It's cold outside but Sana's thigh feels warm under Dahyun's hand.
“I can't believe you won't be here for Christmas. Or my birthday.”
“We will celebrate with dinner and wine once I'm back.”
“I will remind you that ”
They share a comfortable silence for the rest of the journey, with Sana playing with the younger's hand. This is one of the things she's thankful for.
She can't help but be selfish by wanting Dahyun to stay and for herself. While others leave for business trips, Sana has to see her leave to put her life in risk leaving her with the possibility of being the last time they see each other.
Sana holds her hand harder noticing they were getting closer to the military.
“Promise me I will have you back home.”
“That's the plan.”
“No, that's not enough. You have to promise.”
“I want to..”
“You are not leaving if you don't promise it.”
“”
“I'm coming back home alive and in one piece.”
“Sana-chan, if something happens–”
“Don't.” Sana lets go of the pale hand. “I don't want the 'If I die, you can start with someone else' talk.”
Her eyes get full with tears and can't help but also feel ashamed. Dahyun parks their car and doesn't even turn it off as she pulls Sana into her arms.
“I'm in love with you.”
Sana breathes the younger's fresh scent. “I know.” They stay there in the cold car holding each other.
Dahyun pulls away from their hug first, knowing she is running out of time and feels her heart hurt
She has getting injured while on duty but probably nothing compares to how it hurts her to see Sana cry.
Dahyun looks tired, she hasn't even crossed the door to the army base and she already looks like this.
“I hate your stupid uniform.”
“Why?”
“Cause every time you wear it it means you're leaving me.” “You look pretty hot though.”
Dahyun laughs at that. “I will look just as hot when I come back”
“Music for my ears.”
There are a few families saying goodbye to soldiers. Some of them greet Dahyun and thank her for protecting their country and the younger talks to them politely.
Sana stands next to her a little lost in her thoughts. She just wants it all to end. A hug, a kiss, the goodbye and then look at the clock impatiently as if it can make time to go faster.
But also, she wishes she could destroy the clock, and stop time right there so she never has to let Dahyun go to that place surrounded by death and blood.
“Everything ready?”
“Yep.”
They've seven minutes left. There are many things Sana wants to say in those seven minutes. She wants to scream how much she hates this, how hard it is for her, even though is selfish, because it's just as hard for Dahyun to leave her, and her family and friends. Dahyun has to leave her peaceful life with their dog Ahri to and the Korean She has a duty.
Sana wants to tell Dahyun to not get hurt, because the older woman can handle anything except the idea of Dahyun being hurt at who knows where, not able to reach her.
Sana wants to tell her how much she loves her and that she makes her a better person, but seven minutes are not enough.
Instead she just smile weakly. “Well, let's make them count.”
They hold hands, enjoying their warmth in the cold weather. Dahyun reminds her to take Ahri to the vet, and to be careful to catch a cold.
She also tells Sana how crazy she's about her, but the Japanese doesn't like the time she uses, it makes her sound like a permanent goodbye.
Sana nodds, acting as if she's really listening when actually she is repeating herself that she has to breath, and to not cry.
“I left your Christmas present at Chaeyoung's place. Don't bug her about it!”
Sana pouts.
“Sana-chan..”
“Okay, I won't bother Chaeyoung!”
Dahyun uses her thumb to brush the back of her hand.
Two minutes.
Sana clears her throat. “I've some things to remind you too.”
“I'm all ears.”
“Don't forget to take pictures. I want to know where you live.”
“I can do that.”
“And make sure to call your mother”
“I will. I probably will call your mom too.”
“Write me, Dahyun. I need you to write to me.” “I know you will be busy but please, I need this.”
“Of course”
“Great, cause I plan to write tons of letter to you. So many you will have to throw them away.”
“And.. don't get hurt, okay?” Sana knows she really can guarantee that. Dahyun notices her shaky voice and all she can do is to pull Sana into her arms. Their hearts were beating like crazy.
Sana hugs her tighter, her tears getting on the uniform.
“I will do everything I can to be safe.”
“I love you, Dahyunnie.”
“I love you, Sana-chan.”
Their two minutes left were pretty much over but Sana couldn't care less when she felt Dahyun kiss her, bringing her closer by the waist.
“I will call as soon as I can.”
“I love you”
“I love you”
“You're so hot.”
“I was thinking the same.”
“Be safe.”
“I will.”
Inhale,
Exhale.
“Goodbye, Sana. I will see you soon.” Dahyun looks hurt.
“Very soon. ”Sana tries hard to not break down. “Go, Dahyun.”
They kiss one last time.
Sana watches her walk through the gates, seeing her walk further away. She goes back to the car with shaky hands and a red nose, so many tears threatening to fall.
Once inside it, she allows herself to break.
