Contest stories

Lost Love

This was another that i entered with 'Will alone be the answer?'

i find out if i got anywhere on thursday :D

ily xx

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Dear Jason

I lost my heart when I watched that plane fly from the sky into the ground.

I lost my hope when that same plane went up in flames.

I lost myself when they found his corpse.

My love, my soul all lost to this horrid world.

This has destroyed me completely if only you weren't those 5 minutes late to catch the earlier plane, or if you had lunch and the plane left without you, I wouldn't care if anything else had happened just so you wouldn't have died.

Tears during the day, screams at night. This life is now so lonely since you have been gone. I missed my own birthday, I missed our daughter's dance concert and I missed my job interview from grieving over you. I have to try to get my life back on track but every time Anastasia asks where her daddy is I break back down.

I loved you but now I miss you.

Your beloved Diana xoxo

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My sister wakes me up on a Saturday morning. Anastasia is only 5 and is trying to open the big heavy curtains for Maxine. Maxine's tall slim body would make every girl jealous but not me. We have some of the same features like our body shape but my hair was a thick blonde curtain where as she had short black curly hair that she got from our mother.

"Come on Diana, today is the day where we are taking you out, aren't we Anna?" Maxine pronounced at the bottom of my bed.

"Yep, Aunty is taking us to the Zoo. I'm gonna see the big lions. Rawr!" Anastasia said and then began acting like a little lion.

I say a single word and turn over in bed, "Tomorrow."

"You said that to poor Anna two days ago and did you go to the Zoo yesterday I think not." Maxine always knew when to stand her ground.

"I'm not ready not just yet." Two tears fall from my right eye landing on my red patterned pillow case.

"It's been three months for goodness sakes," Her voice began to raise, Anastasia knew to leave the room just as her aunty stared her next sentence. "Look at yourself in the mirror if you haven't already. You have lost your tan; your hair has no shine to it these days and your eyes. The eyes that everyone knows you for, those pure blue eyes have no sparkle to them anymore. Don't live your life like this, please!"Maxine begged.

More tears fell. Three months already. Each terrorising day seemed to drag on for eternity but it only felt like yesterday that the accident had happened.

I don't answer my sister as I get out of bed and cross the room into my ensuite. Closing the door behind me I walk towards the mirror, my sister was right. My reflection wasn't me, no emotion and no colour could find its way to the surface of this body. I turned to get ready for a shower and heard my bedroom door shut, Maxine must have left.

I go down to the kitchen which I haven't entered in a few days. I try to keep away from the places Jason had been the most and the kitchen was one of them.

He was an excellent cook with a dream of opening up his own restaurant someday which will now never come.

Maxine has been here from a week after the crash and takes care of Anastasia most of the time. She is now the one who does the cooking and I find her in there making pancakes.

"Finally made it out of that room I see." Maxine doesn't look at me as she says this.

I felt a grip on my jeans at the knees. A little doll faced angel was looking up at me through her russet brown ringlets. I pick her up and give her a tight hug.

"Is mummy coming today?" There was hope glistening through Anastasia's words.

"Maybe, baby." My voice sounded dull and cranky compared to my daughter's.

Suddenly Maxine turned and faced Anastasia. "It's not a maybe Anna, your mother is going with us today."

The child's eyes looked up into mine; her features were sad but still hopeful.

I held back more tears. I still don't know if I'm ready for this but for our daughter I would, to show her that I'm strong and be the mother that I haven't been for the last few months.

"Ok, go get ready Anna." I say with a small smile.

A huge grin spreads across her face and she runs off to another room. Maxine also looks happy with the progress she has made today. As for me I will try to get through this day happy, Jason will always be in my heart and my mind but now I have the chance to restart and I will take it.

I will not let the loss of Jason burden our child or myself any longer and I step towards the oven to help Maxine with breakfast.