Save Me From Myself

Chapter 3

Baba-

I turn off the alarm before it can make another sound. I haven't been able to sleep. Probably because I slept so much yesterday. I'm able to move freely, since I couldn't go to sleep I just did my routine earlier than usual.

It was difficult to get in the right mindset after what happened yesterday.

*flashback*

"You know what fine, You're on you're own now, dont come crawling to us when decide you want help!!!"

*End of flashback*

I dont know who said it and I honestly don't care who did. I just remember nobody disagreeing to it. I guess I was right all along. After all, someone like me doesn't deserve being cared and loved for.

Shaking my head I get up from my bed. 'You have to think positive, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.'

Today I decided to just wear the same clothes. I turn on the shower, making sure the water us cold and get in. I didn't need to wash myself cause I did it yesterday and I had no reason to, I didn't do anything that would make me have to. I just stood in the cold water, feeling it run down on my body. I stayed there for awhile till I got tired of standing and got out, putting on my clothes.

Going in the kitchen, I get a cold glass of water filling half the cup with ice. Water is the only thing I drink now, I don't eat. I'm not starving myself, I'm not anorexic and no, I'm not in denial. I'm simply just water fasting. Starving yourself is when you have no body fat left so instead of your body burning fat, it burns your organs.

Water fasting is completely different, I'm washing out the toxins in my body. After I know for sure that I'm clean of them I'll start eating healthier and watch my calorie intake and do much exercise.

You're probably wondering, why I don't just tell them... it's simple really. They just don't care, they'll force me to eat. They'll tell me I'm already healthy. I just want a clean start for my body, it's been 2 weeks since I've started it and boy do I feel a difference. I feel so much better about myself knowing my body is cleaning itself internally.

Though I do miss the taste of food, I have to stay strong. It's kind of difficult for me since I have to cook for the others but I'm doing good. My determination helps me keep the streak going.

Part of the reason why I wake up early is so I can make everyones food before they wake up. So whenever someone asks why I'm not eating or tells me I should, I tell them I already have. When in reality I just made enough food for them and re-washed an already clean plate and utensils for more effect.

I sigh 'what am I gonna do? Is everyone still angery at me? Did they really mean it?' I scoff 'of course they did you idiot. I guess it's good for them, they can finally stop pretending they care. All that acting must stress out them even more'I continue siping my ice cold water in silence sitting at the end of the table.

5:12am...'what to do, what to do' I tap my fingers against the table.

'Oh crap, today's Saturday.' I facepalm. 'What am I gonna do now, stay in bed all day? Wait, that actually is a good idea-nah ill be to bored. Maybe I'll just excersise and shop all day, I guess I can practice our new choreography too. Oh! Maybe I'll even make my very own solo song! Done, I'm doing it!' I take a big gulp of water and almost choke due to my excitement.

I groan 'ugh, why does time go so slow'

I decided to just put on some earphones and watch some videos on YouTube.

*time skip*

I set my phone down, and start getting my ingredients ready once I find out what I'm gonna make. I hum while I make breakfast and after I finish I set everyone plate and beverages.

I hear multiple hesitant footsteps as they enter the kitchen.

"G'morning~" I smile widley, remember what today holds for me 'I'm not gonna let them ruin my happiness today, after all they don't care right?'

"Good morning" I hear everyone mumble except jiminie.

"You okay, jiminie?" I ask concerned as I walk over to him.

What, just because they don't care for me doesn't mean I can't for them.

"Yeah, I'm just not hungry, hyung." Jimin says looking down playing with his fingers.

"Nonsense, you're still eating. I worked hard making this food for you and you will eat it" I scold playfully

"I already ate"

"Really, when?"

"You guys were all asleep"

I scoff "I find that hard to believe"

Everyone is looking at us and listening to our conversation.

"I woke up early like yesterday so I decided to grab a bite to eat, like you did yesterday."

"When did you leave, when did you come back?" I interrogate him

"Why are you questioning me???"

"I have a right to, I'm your hyung and I have to take care of you" I reason

"And we're your family and WE have the right to understand what happened yesterday" he fires back, glaring at me.

"Oh ho no no no, you're not turning this on me, answer the question, now." I say the last word in a demanding voice.

He sighs in defeat knowing that I won't back down."I woke up at around 6:00 and came back at around 6:30"

"..." I slide the plate over to him and crowch to be face leveled "Stop lying and eat, young man"

"I'm not lying!" He yell out

"Jimin," I say frustrated and annoyed "I've been up way before you, I know for a fact that you did not leave. If you don't eat right now I will force you by shoving the food down your throat." I say emphasizing the T at the end of throat.

Jimin starts nibbling the food slowly. I stand up straight and look torward the others. "Make sure he finishes every.single.thing. on that plate."

I start leaving the kitchen. "Why were you up?"

I turn around to hoseok, shrugging my shoulders "wasn't tired" and continue walking.

"Wait where are you going?" Namjoon asks, getting up from his seat.

"Out" I say before leaving

'Why would you guys care anyway?'