The Susans (ENG)

E1 - The fear of the battles

I still cannot understand how, most of the times you only want to have a normal life, but you end up inside a war, against yourself or against others, but to find the way in your life. However, for my misfortune, I wasn't in a war against myself. Blood was all over the floors and dreams and the screams would get stuck in your mind like a catchy song. The was started again and almost anyone of us could explain how we were still alive, it was all so confusing... Why we were fighting, why were there, if it was really helping us to survive... I could have been a normal girl all my life if I knew how to surpass the events of the past, but there are things that no matter how much you want to you can't surpass and sometimes it makes you wonder your sanity in the future and see how much this affected you.

That day the battle was strong, the rythm of my heart was so fast that I was feeling it like hammers and drums in my head, the hits I was giving to my "building" wouldn't look at all like my heartbeats, as much as I wish I could be as fast as my heart in that moment, it was not possible. I couldn't take the screams of my team mates out of my mind because most of the times they were getting shot, besides that I could stay still next to my dear electronic compannion that in so many battles was by my side. I call it Susan, but I never met a piece of junk so loyal. Its soft beeps would keep me company when nobody else would and those ones would keep me in peace and safety to keep going every day, it was a noise that would alert me or recomfort me, keep me company in every battle, but outside of these it was a pereptuos noise that would make me smile for keeping me sane.

I was in the middle of one tunnel getting everything ready, even tho in that moment the battles sounded really far from where I was standing I knew it wouldn't take that long to come, that they would advance soon. If it wasn't today, it would be tomorrow, they would attack a lot of times... A closer as the noises were, the louder the drums in my head were. The first few people started to fall, but thanks to god my team would stand still. Thanks to the defense of my teammate and me had. No matter how simple you consider the sentries are, they would make a good job if they were in hands of good engineers with experience.

Nevertheless, even tho this was something good for my team, it was clear that was sometyhing awful for the enemies, a huge disadvantage. I couldn't know they were plotting something, you wouldn't even want to know cause of the constant stress and fear you would live with. The BLU team didn't take that much to run away without having a chance to advance caused to our strong defense. Luckily, something good for me.

No matter how much my team would want to think it was a victort that day, the truth is that BLU team was plotting something worse after getting themselves in their base. The created an special reunion to take us down and take our heads to heaven knows what...

But the truth being said, it was a relief for us to finally breath for another day, to see our tired smiles of all of us after the battle, finally resting. They would give till their last breath to keep their team mates and themselves alive out there. We were alive, if you want to call it that wat... It would be better to day that we were surviving... Maybe lifepaths took us here together for differents pasts, but I'm afraid we're together now, stuck in the battle loop to die sooner or later and nobody could escape. We were trapped till a bullet goes through our heads. But we were alive, yeah... I guess we are...