𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓪𝔂 𝓚𝓲𝓭𝓼 𝓘𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 ♡ [ON HOLD]

7. Insecure {Jisung}

Happy Birthday my baby squirrel ;) You so cute I just wanna squish your chubby cheeks. NO DRINKING OR DRUGS MISTER YOU AIN'T OLD ENOUGH FOR THOSE BAD DECISIONS! Okay love you bias wrecker — please stop being handsome x)

INSECURE

Word Count: 811
Story Type: [ Romantic/Insecure/Trauma/Love ]

~

Standing in front of the mirror, you looked at yourself— your eyebrows furrowing in the process. You couldn't help but grab your stomach, feeling all the places you hated on yourself. Your thighs became the next victim— earning their full share of hatred looks and thoughts.

A knock on your door pulled you out of your thoughts, even startling you a bit.

"Hey jagiya, you almost done in there?" Jisung's voice was muffled by the door between you two. You began to slightly panic, knowing if he saw you judging yourself he would be disappointed.

Throwing on a pair of sweats and larger shirt, you opened the door quickly. Jisung stood there, he sheepish smile on his squirrelish face— a loose shirt and basketball for himself. You knew he was too good for you— very handsome, amazing singer and rapper, and just a wonderful personality. He deserved someone better than you.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked, bending down slightly to see your face. Instantly you looked away, knowing if you looked him in the eyes— everything you try to hide might accidentally come spilling out.

That couldn't happen.

"Nothing, just a little tired." you said, walking into the living room and plopping onto the couch. You grabbed one of the throw pillows— tucking it under your arms to cover your stomach so desperately wished you didn't have.

Jisung followed behind you, quiet after the short conversation you two shared. You knew he probably suspect something wrong, but you decided not to bring it up. The less he worries, the better things will be.

"(Y/n)?" Jisung tapped your shoulder after sitting down next to you on the couch. It was eating you alive not to be able to share your problems with him, but you couldn't bring it in you to shove this onto him.

You didn't realize you've been spacing out— causing Jisung to worry even more. His arms around your slender shoulders made you realize you've been ignoring him.

"Sorry." You said, laying your head against his shoulder, enjoying the small hug. Though you couldn't stop yourself from thinking about the pillow between the two of you. What if he felt your fatness?

You pushed him away quickly, breaking eye contact as soon as possible. Jisung felt hurt— not knowing why you've suddenly change over the the last week. He felt as if he did something wrong, he desperately wanted to make it up to you.

"Baby?" He asked— the hurt in his voice clearly showing through. Your heart pang in guilt, knowing he was hurting now. You could hold it back any longer— tears already washed down your face.

"I-I'm sorry!" You cried, bringing your hands up to your face, covering your tears.

"I-I dont want to, but I can't help hating myself! And all the love you give me, I don't deserve it." You sobbed hugging the pillow tighter.

Jisung instantly pulled you into his lap, embracing you as tightly as he could without hurting you. Even when you were struggling against him, he wouldn't let go— afraid either one of you could break.

"Jisung! Let me go!" You cried, not wanting him to pity you. You just couldn't grasp how someone so perfect as him could love someone so imperfect as you.

"Stop (Y/n). Please." He begged, laying his head in the crook of your neck. His warm arms, tight grip, loving eyes— it was so much to take in, you didn't want something that you didn't deserve.

Soon, you realize struggling was pointless— growing tired by the stubborn boy would seemed to never let go.

"Please (Y/n). Never say that again. You are beautiful. Amazing and so kind. I don't care if your fat or skinny, short or tall. Your mine and I love you so much that it hurts hearing those words. You deserve the whole world god dammit. Don't ever tell me your not good enough." His voice quivered at the end, you could feel yourself crack slightly.

You both knew you wouldn't instantly cure these thoughts you had, but Jisung wasn't one to give up. He would wait for you as long as it took.

You both sat there silently, enjoying the quiet for a small moment. You didn't have any words to respond with, but much appreciate for Jisung.

"Thank you." You said, your nose running a little from crying earlier— sniffling in result. You could feel Jisung smile against your shoulder, making you want to smile in return.

"I love you so much, my beautiful beautiful Jagi."