dolan twins imagines

spotlight / ethan

based off of the song by lil peep x
word count: 1238 x
sorry for errors x

x

Loving you is like a fairy tale

Ethan loved you, you loved Ethan. Everyone seemed to know that. You two had a hard time believing each other though, you both thought everything was too good to be true. 

“You know I love you, y/n. I really do. Don’t ever stop believing me, alright? I love you.” Ethan was set on making sure you knew that he loved you, even at times it seemed less than so. 

“I know, E. I love you too, so so much.” You replied, leaning your head onto his shoulders as he pulled you closer. 

I just can’t pick up the phone again

This was it. Ethan was gone. After days, months, years of knowing each other, he left. He needed to get away. He needed to get a new start. You two tried for a while to stay together, but as the months went by, the phone calls seemed to get shorter, the facetime calls were less enthusiastic, you two just weren’t meant to be as much as everyone thought, including yourselves. Soon after, the phone stopped ringing. You stopped calling. He was gone. 

This time, I’ll be on my own, my friend

You’re friends, family, even some of Ethan’s fans were still very helpful to you while you went through all of this. Some even took it to the extent of giving Ethan hate. He knew that wasn’t what you intended, you didn’t even post anything about the internet. Ethan just wanted to make sure everyone knew what was going on. And you were alright with that, you were content with everything by now.

One more time, I’m all alone again

Most people would think as the days went on, your breakup would get better. You’d get better. But slowly you started to realize this wasn’t a dream. Ethan was really gone. You were really alone. It hit you like a bus, the realization had finally kicked in and it hurt. 

Sex with you is like I’m dreaming, and

You remember every detail about what you’ve ever done with Ethan. The tired sleepless nights to the nights you two truly felt each other. The true essence of each other, body on body. It was surreal, the way he held you. The way you two moved so equally to one another. 

I just wanna hear you scream again

It was something so attractive to him. The way you said his name, how easily he could make you melt underneath him. He loved it about you. He always made sure he got you right to the point. He loved making you scream. He loved you, and every inch on you. 

Now you’re gone I can’t believe it

You were still hurt after the months of being without him. The months of being alone. You still didn’t want to believe he was truly gone.

Time I spent with you deceivin’ me

You actually thought you two would be together forever, but I guess not. When he left it broke you. It made your trust for people tear into pieces because he promised to stay. He promised to never leave.

I don’t care if you believe in me

You cared so much to get his approval, just his. It tore you to pieces but it made you feel so good. He broke you when he left. Soon you’d realize his approval didn’t matter.

I still wonder why you’re leavin’ me

You still always wondered if it was your fault that he left. If you were the reason he needed the fresh start. It hurt you to think that but you didn’t believe him anymore. You didn’t trust that he cared anymore.

I don’t care if you believe me

You always told him you loved him, because you did. You really did. But he seemed to know how to break your heart. He lied to you.

I still wonder why you tease me

You always wondered if he just used you for sex. If you were just a fuckbuddy to him. Did he truly care? You still didn’t know to be completely honest. Seeing him on your computer screen with Grayson, it hurt. It hurt seeing how happy he was without you.

And if I’m takin’ this the wrong way

You had hoped everything was a nightmare. That Ethan didn’t really leave. You were hoping you would just wake up and see him again, be happy with your life. Yet you never woke up. You were stuck.

I hope you know that you can tell me whatever you’re thinkin’

You knew Ethan wouldn’t come back. He was happy now. He wouldn’t come back. But somehow you still found yourself caring so much about him.

It’s when you put me in the spotlight

Everyone knew your name because of Ethan. You still see posts about your relationship after months of being apart. His fame caused you to be such a well-known face.

I hope you know when I’m faded, all of this liquor I been drinkin’

You used to never go out and drink. You preferred to stay inside and relax. But after Ethan left you couldn’t stand being alone. You needed to feel something. Your drinking habits got worse and worse by the days. And Ethan was still happy.

And if I’m takin’ this the wrong way

It was so hard seeing him everywhere you went. He never got less known. He kept his fame. He got even more known and you got even less happy.

I hope you know you can tell me whatever you’re thinkin’ 

You still texted him from time to time. You knew he’d never answer, he never even read the messages. He probably changed his number, but you still wanted to talk to him. Everyday. 

-

When the moon hit your skin, I could see you and him

Ethan still cared a lot about you. He didn’t mean to hurt you. He had to let go of you in order to fully be committed to his new life. He tried so hard to make it work easily for you two. He saw you all over his feed from fans posting about you. He knew you moved on after he left. 

Not you and me, yeah, but it’s just you and me

He hurt without you. On screen, he was seemingly happy. But off screen, all he did was worry about you. He always checked his instagram, twitter, etc. in order to make sure you were alright. He wished you two were still together but he couldn’t do anything to change it. 

When the sun shines above, you wake up with the one you love

You two were in love. Even if the other didn’t believe it. you missed the bright days filled with happiness and the sleepless nights with your long talks. He missed the times you would laugh, the times you would sleep in for hours. He missed you and you missed him. 

Not you and me, yeah, but it’s just you and me

After the years of being apart, you finally moved on. Of course, you still missed him, but it wasn’t something you should worry about so much. You knew you needed to move on, for your own sake as well as his. If you didn’t move on it could completely ruin everything. You wanted to make sure he was happy. 

He wanted to make sure you were happy.