Hello again! I am so excited about the growing attention that my book is getting. I'm also very happy about the positive feedback that I've been getting, but not to say that I won't appreciate any negative feedback! Of course I'm going to call the negative feedback constructive criticism ;) But anyways, I was so excited about everything and all the nice people on here that I decided to update. Please comment on the update and let me know what you think!
<3 Liyaah
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One month ago…
“Here”
Lena looked up, surprised. “What’s that for?” she asked her Aunt Star.
“It’s a diary,” Aunt Star glared at her niece for scoffing at her, “before you go on bagging on my gift let me tell you why I got it.” Lena nodded as a sign for her Aunt Star to continue, but it wasn’t like Aunt Star needed her permission. “Look, I know this is lame. I mean who writes in diaries anymore? But I know that you don’t want to talk to a therapist and I know that you won’t even talk to your friends. I figure that the only person you want to talk to is yourself so I bought you a diary to help and so that people won’t think you’re crazy talking to yourself. But mainly the last one.”
Lena watched as Aunt Star smiled at her own joke and that caused her to smile, but just as quick as it came her smile disappeared. “Aunt Star, thank you, but I don’t need this.”
“Honey, please just take it,” Aunt Star said as she pushed back the hands that attempted to give back the diary, “I’d feel better if you just took the gift and at least tried to write in it.”
Lena let out a sigh. “Alright,” she said, “I’ll try.”
......
She stared at her reflection in the mirror like she did every other morning, but today was a little different. I never used to look like this. Lena thought to herself.
The girl in the mirror had long and silky black hair. It wasn’t jet black, but it was the kind of black hair, that if the sunlight hit it right, would reveal just a touch of brown at the top of her head—almost as if she had put in highlights. Her caramel-brown skin had long lost the glow that it once had and the sparkle that had once been concealed in her endless green eyes were vanished along with it. There was no longer the look of happiness in them, the look of mischievous, the look of fun, the look of love. It was all replaced by a sense of pain and no matter how hard Lena tried to push that pain away from the surface, it constantly reappeared.
As Lena stood there staring at a girl she hardly recognized—and neither did anyone else recognize her—she thought about how she used to be. She thought about Jessica and Dolores. She thought about how they used to be so close. She missed that. The bond that they had all shared, they were practically sisters. Sisters… That word made Lena think about her own sister, her own family.
Drip drip.
Lena looked down at the bathroom sink that was dripping water. She imagined the same droplets of water running down against her cheeks, but she quickly threw the thought away. She had cried her tears and although she desperately wanted to cry some more she stopped herself. Looking back at her reflection hard, cold eyes replaced the sorrowful ones.
This is who I am now. Lena thought to herself. She wasn’t the same person and she never will be.
As she made her way downstairs she thought about what brought her to relive the memories. Aunt Star, she thought to herself, you can’t keep doing this to me.
......
Well, this is my first time writing in a diary. I feel ancient. I mean who the hell even writes in a diary anymore? It’s pretty weird, but that’s what my auntie thinks will help me so I’ll do it to keep her from worrying. Why does she think this will help me?!? I guess it’s not that bad. In a way it does, because I’m not sitting here and day dreaming. No, I’m not day dreaming, I wouldn’t call it that. This whole thing is actually a nightmare. It’s hard to deal with this pain. After the whole accident, I’ve been... distant. I know I’m not a crazy mental person or anything, because I realize I’m distant and I know the reason why. It’s just everybody treats me differently now, like I’m some kind of freak. They only feel sympathetic and pitiful over my loss. When people come up to me they either say too much or nothing at all. Guess I know who my real friends are. No one. I’m not mad at anyone; I’m just hurting and sort of mad at myself. I just wish that it was me. That mom, dad, Lizeth, and Jacob didn’t have to suffer. It should’ve been me that…
“Hey,” Lena jumped as someone interrupted her and sat beside her on the bench, “mind if I sit here?”
Lena looked up into a pair of soft brown eyes, but she was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hardly noticed them. “No, I was just leaving” she replied while closing her brown and blue polka dot diary and putting it in her light gray bag.
“Wait!” he gently reached for Lena’s arm and gave a little smirk, “you don’t have to. I didn’t mean to be a creeper or anything, but you were alone and so was I. I thought you might want some company. Oh, and by the way my name is…”
“Thanks,” Lena interrupted, “but I really have to go now.” He watched her scurrying away. He watched her long black hair sway as she moved and noticed the small defined curves of her body. It was a shame really, that she had to leave so quickly. Now that he thought about it, it was almost too quickly. A feeling of disappointment came over him as he realized she was trying to get away from him. But because his gaze never left in the two seconds that it took for him to realize that, he was able to see her glance back at him. He gazed back at those green eyes that seemed more intense because of the caramel brown illuminating off of her skin. As she faced forward continuing to move, the corners of his mouth stretched upwards as a smirk appeared on his face.
