Falling | Olajide Olatunji/KSI

Remarkable | 2

With eyes tired, heavy and dry, I hauled myself out of bed, there was no sign of light outside except the moon and stars. Even so, the moon was fuzzy and the stars were dim but beautiful and elegant as always.

I swiped my thumbs underneath my eyes and scratched until the crusty sleep had gotten out of them, I yawned and stared down at my lap, I didn't really feel anything. I played with my hands and debated what to do as I didn't really want to go back to sleep and wake up even more exhausted than before. My hunger hadn't made itself known in a while, in a long while actually, so I figured I should make something.

I quickly grabbed my phone, it took a second for my gaze to focus on the numbers on screen '04:04 am'. The nights were getting longer as we were getting closer to autumn, England got extremely cold during those times but yet we didn't have that much snow suddenly drop on us. I shook my head and slowly got up, my apartment was a bit daunting when it was dark, so I raced to the light switch and made sure every single light was on. The amount of panic just using the light of a phone increases every time, I was terrified to go to the toilet sometimes, thinking that someone was ready to pounce as soon as I stepped out my comfort zone.

While taking a deep semi-calming breath, I made my way to the kitchen, the lights were on in an instant because of my paranoia. Trying to take my mind off the paranoia that settled in every night, I swivelled around the counter and sat down gently on a stool, I opened a cook book that I got a while back. I flipped through the pages continuously, flicking them and letting out a disgruntled sigh when finding nothing interesting to cook. Of course there were many different meals to cook, so I wasn't anywhere near finishing the book. The next few pages were desserts, butterfly cupcakes, fruit cake, sticky toffee pudding, cinnamon swirls.

Cinnamon swirls sounded good, and it was a bonus they were quite simple but such a lovely delicacy. My eyes shot to my phone, wondering if I had enough charge to play music to also keep me preoccupied, luckily I did and a sigh of relief escaped, music calmed me, even if it had heavy bass, it was the most comforting thing. When music is played, it's almost as if my heart joins in, it thrums with the beat.

Quickly, I prepared the utensils and ingredients. If I focused my mind on one thing, there was a high chance I'd forget everything else so I hurried myself, swiftly getting it in the oven once I shaped them and added the right amount of cinnamon. Hopefully they would puff and turn slightly crispy while being cooked, fingers crossed anyway.

My old roommate strongly disliked cinnamon, she was astonishingly beautiful and in many aspects I was jealous of her, like when she moved out to pursue a new career, after that, I decided to just live on my own, although that caused me hell sometimes. The amount of dread of being alone in pitch blackness at night, or waking up to a bang outside, it's traumatising when there's no one to guard you, even in the slightest. I always slept with my phone directly beside me in case anything happened. Every night the fear caved in on me, suffocating my poor self and chasing me into a dead end, I could never escape the reality that one day it could very well happen.

Noting that my mind had gone down a dark path, I diverted the direction and instead checked the swirls, they were done, which meant I was thinking for longer than I thought I was. I hummed and grabbed my mittens, quickly I retracted the swirls from out of the oven and nearly tossed the tray onto the counter. I kicked the oven door shut and put the swirls in a small wooden bowl.

With a huff, I covered them over, admired the way they turned out and finally decided to give into sleep with welcome weak arms as my exhaustion had suddenly dawned on me. I jogged to my room and turned the light switches off hastily, I pressed my back against the door and slowly locked it, once I was sure everything was fine, I slipped under the covers and let fatigue overwhelm my small fragile frame.

- - - - - - - -

My fingers slowly felt the money in my pocket, I definitely had it. I inhaled the air that still had a lingering smell of rain, I stepped on the slightly damp pavement, and I watched the dark clouds clear up. I strode into the store and wiped my shoes on the mat, I didn't want to accidentally make the floors dirty.

With clammy hands, I grabbed the fairy lights that I wanted to buy. If I had lights around the apartment, I'd be able to move around more freely at night. With a small smile tugging at my lips, I strutted up to the person who worked at the till. They handed me the lights and gave me more change than I thought I'd get.

I put my hand on my heart and finally relaxed, until an individual spoke from behind me, their voice loud and clear to my ears.

I swivelled around and was met with a tall lanky person with dyed hair, blonde along the top and his roots were dark brown. What struck me was his remarkable blue eyes, they were dark but held so much expression. He was sporting a kind grin on his face with his arms by his sides, his hands were slightly clenched and he reached to put one of them in his trouser pocket.

"You come here often?"