To Be A Child

Chapter 7

L.Q: Sorry, I forgot to put a disclaimer on the last chapter, so this one counts for both.

Disclaimer: L.Q does not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Edward kept his eyes shut and his head turned into the couch. He struggled to keep his breathing even. He didn't want to see Mustang right now. He didn't want to be near Mustang right now. But Mustang was still there. He could sense his presence close to him, perfectly still and silent.

Why couldn't the bastard just do them both a favour and walk away?

Ed wasn't a child that needed to be coddled and encouraged every step of the way. He had two strong legs and could stand up perfectly fine on his own!

So why on earth was Mustang still here in his personal life?

"Edward."

Edward just clenched his eyes shut tighter and hoped with all his might that the next words coming out of Mustang's mouth would be 'good-bye'.

Yes, he couldn't deny that some foreign part of him would be sad, terribly sad, if Mustang left. But if it meant that he could go back to Al and do what was most important to him, then the loss of this sense of almost contentment with Mustang would be a small price to pay.

Well, it actually wasn't so small. It was only fair.

"Edward. Please look at me."

Mustang's voice held no anger or spite, only bare gentleness. It was a voice that was open and begged for trust, no matter what the consequences were. Edward was rather alarmed to hear it.

He opened his eyes and after a moment's hesitation, turned his head to face Mustang. The man's eyebrows hinted at slight worry, and his eyes held only open concern. His expression was downright pleading with him.

What the hell? How far was Mustang willing to go to keep up this little charade? Didn't he know that Edward knew he was only pretending? Why did he insist on torturing Ed with this melee of emotions? Ed didn't want to be happy, sad, and confused all at once!

Shock was the only thing that filled Edward's mind when arms suddenly enveloped him. "Get off me!" he said instinctively.

Mustang didn't listen. Edward stared off into space over Mustang's shoulder. The only thing he could focus on was Mustang. The warmth from his body seemed to surround him, and his presence was solid and reassuring.

It was wonderful, and yet so horrible.

What was his superior officer doing, hugging him? The emotions that assaulted Ed were too much for him to handle at this rate! He wanted to melt into the embrace, but he also wanted to push Mustang off of him and slug him in the face. He wanted to believe so much that Mustang truly cared about him, but he knew that he wanted no such ties with his superior.

Choked sounds suddenly came out of his mouth and he felt Mustang draw back a bit. Edward stared up at Mustang with tears pooling in his eyes. He lay there hiccupping as the tears finally spilled and ran down his face.

Dammit dammit dammit! How could this be happening?! Edward was horrified, but he couldn't stop the tears from running down his face and his breathing refused to even out. He was dying.

Even though Ed could barely see through the tears that blurred his vision, when Mustang moved out of his line of sight he felt a pang. It wasn't a feeling of victory or satisfaction. Mustang was finally leaving, but he didn't want him to!