The Badboy Smokes

Chapter Fourteen

Tuesday is flannel day, so I do participate due to my abundance of flannels, all thanks to an eighth grade emo phase.

My dad is sitting at the counter, reading his paper with the coffee I've set out for him, everyday for several years. His therapist comes today, and I'm really hoping, as I do every week, that she can help him in ways that I can't.
"Hey, honey," He says, not looking to me.
"Hey," I answer, "I gotta go... Bye."
"Bye, honey," He says, not looking to me.

I drive to school slowly, allowing myself to be safe while thinking about my dad more than the laws of the road.

I smile at Jenna as we make eye contact when I walk into the library.
"You should date Jayce," She informs me, setting her phone on the table.
I shrug, "Not my type. Doesn't like me. Don't like him."
"That's not what it seemed like yesterday," She answers, raising an eyebrow.
I roll my eyes, "He was just being a decent human being."
"Are you saying that none of the rest of us are decent human beings?" Jenna asks back, placing a hand on her heart.
I smile, "That's definitely what I'm saying."

   
Charlie and Nate are holding hands when I get to English, Markus and Andy aren't being problematic, and Jayce hasn't arrived yet. However, the latter (or lattest, I suppose, maybe you'd just say the last) walks in seconds after me and sits down sideways, looking at me.
"I need to prove something to you," He informs me.
I furrow my eyebrows with confusion before he continues, "Give me your pencil."

I hand over my pencil just for him to throw it past my head and watch as it hits the wall, falling to the floor. Once it's rolled back, I lean over and pick it up, looking back at him with a confused expression. Jayce watches me as if I should know what he's trying to communicate, but in order to know I'd have to read his expression, which, if you haven't noticed, is hard to read. But it clicks.

"You could've just told me you don't like me," I inform him.
"It doesn't get the point across," Jayce states and turns away.
"I understand boundaries," I answer, following his actions by looking away. 
He looks back at me, but I ignore him.
"Tell me what's wrong," Jayce commands out of the blue, so I look back over.
"What?," I answer in the form of a question, furrowing my eyebrows a little.
"You didn't wrongly accuse me of loving you," He says, narrowing his eyes a little.
I shrug and glance at my desk for a second, "I'm just tired."
"You don't have bags under your eyes," Jayce tells me, "And you haven't yawned once, and you're not putting your head on your arms to sleep."

I shake my head, but can't surpress a small grin at how observant he is, so I take a deep breath, trying to think through how to answer.
"I'm okay," I answer, "I just need, I dunno, a break from school. Christmas break needs to come sooner."
Jayce tilts his head a little, "That's next week, isn't it."
I nod and he purses his lips.
"I have't shopped for anybody," He says slowly, seeming to think through his entire life.
I nod, "Me neither."
"Hey, that's fun," Jayce says, "How about, I give you a list and you shop for me. And for yourself, but mostly me."
I roll my eyes, "Great idea."
He frowns a little, "C'mon, tell me what's wrong."

I have observed that Jayce doesn't ask questions, but rather demands answers.

I sigh heavily enough that it's almost a huff and shift in my chair to face him.
"Wait," He says, and grabs my pencil, dropping it on the floor.
He picks it up and looks back to me and adds, "Continue."
I grin a little at that and shift the noteboook around on my desk.
"My dad is just so fucking crazy," I answer, lowering my voice, "Like, he's had the same cup of coffee in front of him for a week, he reads the same damn paper, the only thing he says is 'hey,' 'honey,' and 'bye.' I have to host the family dinner by myself because my dad is too...too incompetent to cook and invite people. I can't buy my family Christmas presents because I don't have a mom or siblings and I don't know my dad."
I shake my head and bring my foot up onto the chair, resting my chin on my knee, "Of course, I'll get one for Jenna and maybe for everyone else at my lunch table...I dunno, it's not a big deal."