"Good evening everyone, this is Power 104.3. I am DJ Basix along with Jimmy Jaxx and Pussy Galore. We are the Midnight Snack! This evening our topic is threesomes."
DJ Basix leaned into the microphone as he spoke to me.
My name was actually Jimmy Jaxx. I was the stuck up one in the corner who acted like his shit didn't stink. I tried to put on confidence on the radio but my hands still got sweaty every time I pulled the mic closer at night. I had been a radio personality going on three years now.
"Oh god..." I stated, "Why don't we ever talk about something nice like marriage...you know. Dating...something old school."
"Gay people don't care about that hunny," Pussy Galore stated.
Pussy Galore was the drag queen next to me. She was actually once a good friend of mine. She was possibly one of my best friends to tell you the truth. I knew Pussy when Pussy's name was Peter. Back then he was a lot less outspoken. As soon as he became Pussy Galore and we took on the radio show his ego was getting way out of control. We butt heads all the time. It helped ratings but I was irritated almost daily by her.
We were the top radio station in the gay community. The Village was a place in New York that just had a ton of gay people. It was our local gay-borhood. 104.3 was what everyone in the village went to go get their morning weather or afternoon gossip. However late at night from 10 to midnight I took over with the Midnight Snack.
"So let's ask it. Let's leave the T right here. Would you have a threesome? Yes or no?" DJ Basix asked all of a sudden.
"Absolutely not," I replied.
"We knew that you wouldn't, uppity ass," Pussy Galore chirped in, "I don't see anything wrong with it. Eat my ass while I suck someone else's dick. It's 2015. Wasn't your new year's resolution to multi-task Jimmy?"
I blushed.
"That's not exactly what I meant by that."
"I have to agree with Pussy Galore," DJ Basix replied, "You have to get out there."
I was used to them both ganging up on me and disagreeing. The interns were laughing at Pussy Galore. I'm sure there was a reason they had someone like me on here next to Pussy. We were so different that it always made for good conversation.
"Maybe when I was younger," I replied, "But I'm in a relationship now. I can't be out here sharing my bed..."
"Why not?" Basix asked me.
They both looked at me. The interns in the room looked at me. I couldn't believe that once again I was the prude on the radio having to defend the fact that I didn't want to have two guys in my bed.
"Because feelings are involved with my boyfriend."
"Ok. I know his boyfriend," Pussy Galore stated to our listeners through the mic, "The reason this discussion came up with because his boyfriend has been wanting to have a threesome for how long now..."
I gave Pussy Galore the craziest look. Pussy was the stereotypical drag queen. She was loud. She was whorish. She had padded every part of her body to almost look cartoonish. She did nothing but return my stare. Her lipstick was smeared all over the Juvederm pumped lips and puckered up to blow a kiss to me. I was so annoyed.
"Ok I'm not talking about this on air."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. Listen. It's ok to want to spice things up once in a while. Isn't that right Basix?"
"I've seen Jimmy's boyfriend. And for everyone listening out there...Khaled is it. Where does he work? The local gym. Personal trainer with a sick body. I don't know if I would want to share that either if I'm Jimmy," Basix stated.
"I personally know people who want to mess around with Khaled..."
She just said my boyfriend's name on air! What the hell was wrong with her?
"Ok I'm not talking about this on air..."
"Aren't you worried?" Pussy Galore asked me, "Aren't you worried that some freaky, early 20 something is going to sneak up in here and steal Khaled from you? You know 28 is damn near middle aged in the Village these days."
I was...I was worried.
"No," I replied, "He loves me. Our connection is deeper than that."
"So why did you say yes to him?"
Everyone's mouth dropped at that moment. If I wasn't a sanctified Christian I would have hauled off and hit Pussy Galore right in the face. I had told her that in confidence. I had told her about the threesome in confidence and she was on the radio telling all my business. I couldn't believe she said that. I couldn't believe she said that on air!
"Ok I'm done."
"Jimmy!"
"I'm done!"
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The Crowded Mattress MxM (Staten Crown)
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