Miss Independent

Chapter Six: Clue

Chapter Six: Clue

My eyes rest on the brick home with three steps leading to the front door. The grass is dead and so is the tree in the back yard. Cars line the street and every light is on inside. I know without a doubt that the building is full of my relatives.
My nerves are sky high because I've refused to come visit for years. I haven't been here since I was sixteen. I just didn't want to see the disappointment, and now sitting in the car, I feel the same way.
I don't want to be looked at as wounded. I don't want people to be nervous what they say around me. I don't want people to freak out when I go into a room alone or when I take a longer shower than normal. That's what my immediate family has done since I was seventeen and I started using.
It's only Tuesday and we flew to the city and got a rental car.
"Ready?" Dad asks, unbuckling his seatbelt.
Nope.
"Yeah, let's go." I sigh.
My siblings and I get out of the back seats and they head straight for the door. My Dad follows close behind them and Mom starts to go up, so I follow her.
After a second though, I pull her back.
"I don't want to go in." I say.
"What?" She asks. "Why?"
"They're going to treat me like a drug addict. I'm not a drug addict. I was a drug addict, but that's not me anymore."
"If somebody treats you weird, tell them what you told me."
I nod, swallowing nervously, and then I follow her inside.
Everyone is greeting my brother and sister and Dad.
If they treat me like damaged goods, I'll just be alone. No big deal.
I can handle being alone, right?
I've never been alone. Not since I was seventeen.
They move on from my siblings and my Dad to my Mom, and then they all look...confused.
Like, are they allowed to hug me, or am I going to try to murder them?
Obviously they can hug me, but they seem like they don't know that.
Seriously is it that complicated?
No. It's not, they're just making it a big deal.
Grandma is the first to break the hesitation.
"You got taller!" She says, and then she hugs me and I want to cry just because she's making an effort.
"Yeah, that's kind of what happens when you grow." I laugh nervously.
My cousins start greeting me and then aunts and uncles and then it gets quiet again, and then my parents are talking about somebody on the flight who coughed like the entire trip, and Liam and Claire go on to talk about how dumb Claire is for thinking a bird was sitting on the wing, and then everyone just kind of looks at me like they're unsure what to say, so I mentally cringe.
"I'm pretty sure the guy I sat next to was an air Marshall." I say awkwardly.
"Why?" My cousin Andrew asks.
"Because he sat completely stiff and just stared straight ahead for the entire trip. I don't think I saw him even move a finger."
"Oh was it that weird guy with the mustache?" Claire asks.
"Yeah, and that ugly yellow shirt?" I answer my sister.
"Oh, I know who you're talking about. He's the kinda guy who looks like he has nasty breath." Liam nods.
"That's so rude." Dad laughs.
"Oh come on, there's always that person who just looks like they smell." I shrug.
"I completely disagree." My cousin Andrew says.
"I agree with Kate." Liam shakes his head. "And some people just look like they're packing."
"Yeah, that too, but the air Marshall guy didn't. He just looked...paralysed."
"Oh come on." Claire says. "People don't just look like they're packing. Name one person who looks like they're packing."
"Well..." Liam pauses. "What about Alex?"
And just like that, the moment of normalcy is over. Everyone's eyes get huge, my Mom's jaw practically smacks her toe on the floor, and Claire looks like she wants to slap Liam.
And then they all look at me as if they're expecting me to start smoking a blunt.
I'm not sure how to reply to that.
"Uh...um..." Liam stutters.
I open my mouth to say something and then close it, and it's just awkward.
But after almost two minutes of silence, I have to say something.
"You guys can talk about Alex and you can talk about drugs. I'm not insane."
With that, I go into the bathroom and shut the door.

_____

I think it took me sitting in there for a few minutes to realize I prefer to be alone. Nobody can judge me when I'm alone.
But anyways, after Liam's little slip up, everything was just awkward, including dinner. Nobody knew how to talk to me so they just kind of...talked around me, or asked people questions about me instead of asking me directly.
We watched a movie and everyone sat around either talking to playing cards and I sat on the couch not participating. Eventually I picked off my nail polish and now I'm sitting here with nothing to do.
"Hey Katherine, want to play clue?"
They all look like they want me to play, and I already know why.
I play clue weird. I just...I pay attention to everything. I document everything.
But they're trying to include me, so I shrug.
"Alright."
We all pick a character and a piece of paper to document it. I sit back against the couch with my back between my Mom's legs and uncap my pen, marking down everything I have.
"I don't remember how to play." My cousin Megan says.
Everyone jumps in trying to explain until she's confused and I just sit there watching.
"You try to explain." Mom taps my shoulder from behind.
I sigh.
"There's six characters, nine rooms, and six weapons. Basically when we shuffle the cards, we put a weapon, a room, and a person in a folder and the weapon is the murder weapon, the room is where they were murdered, and the character is the murderer. So what you do is you walk around the board and try to go into a room, and when you get into a room you guess a weapon, a character, and a room and if you're right, you win."
Everyone is just looking at me.
"Alright, sounds easy enough."
"Don't show anybody your cards either. Oh, and another thing. If somebody guesses...for instance, the candlestick in the library and that Colonel Mustard is the killer. If you have any of those three cards, you have to show the person guessing."
"Alright." She says.
I mark down my weapons and we start to play.
I watch everyone's body lauguage closely, scruntizing each and every one of them and documenting what everyone is guessing.
After everyone goes around about eight times, I go through to see what's everyone is guessing and realize that only one weapon has been asked for by multiple people, and that is the lead pipe. Now, I have Mrs. Peacock and the library card, so what I'm going to do on my turn will tell me what I think I already know.
The board goes around again so I keep documenting, and when it gets back to me, I go into the library.
"What's your guess?" Megan asks.
"I think it's the lead pipe in the library. And I think that Mrs. Peacock did it." I hesitate. "Can anybody prove me wrong?"
By now the entire family is watching.
"Anybody?" I ask.
Everyone starts shaking their heads.
Which means nobody has the lead pipe, which means that's the weapon of choice.
I circle the weapon on my piece of paper.
"Do you have one of the cards?" Claire asks, knowing damn well I already do.
"Yeah." I hand the dice to Andrew and start checking my paper again.
Everyone has asked about the kitchen at least once. That doesn't necessarily mean they don't have it. Somebody could have asked about it when they had it already.
But at the small chance they didn't, I'm going to find out.
So I document what everyone is asking and when it's my turn, I go into the kitchen.
They all look at me.
"I think it's Mrs. Peacock in the kitchen with the lead pipe." I say. I have Mrs. Peacock, but I don't have the kitchen, and the lead pipe is the weapon.
I look around, waiting for somebody to prove me wrong, and when they don't, I nod my head and circle the kitchen.
So now I know it's the lead pipe in the kitchen.
Mom snorts behind me, watching what I'm doing over my shoulder.
I hand the dice to Andrew and document what they're saying.
The people are too spread out, but I know that it's not Plum, Peacock, Mustard, or White, which leaves Reverend Green and Miss Scarlet.
I document what everyone is saying, and now it's time to guess.
"I think it's Green in the library with the revolver."
I have the library and the revolver, and even though I know it's neither one of those,  don't want somebody to realize I've mentioned the kitchen and the lead pipe more than once.
"Can anybody prove me wrong?" I ask.
Everyone is quiet, looking around.
"I can." Claire says.
She starts to get up to show me her card but i wave her off.
"No need, I know what you have."
You can't guess who is in the envelope if you've already guessed something else during your turn, so I circle Scarlet and hand the dice to Andrew.
By now, my Mom is flat out laughing, and when it comes back to me.
"I'd like to guess what's in the envelope." I say.
"Seriously?" Liam asks.
"Yes."
"Alright, fine." Andrew says.
"I think it's Scarlet, in the kitchen, with the lead pipe."
Everyone is looking around, waiting for somebody to prove me wrong.
"Anybody?" I ask, my smirk slowly growing.
When all heads are shaken, I pick up the envelope and open it up, reaching inside.
Sure enough, Scarlet, the lead pipe, and the kitchen are in there.
I grin.
"I win."
"How did you do that?" Andrew groans. "You cheated!"
"I did not cheat!" I scoff.
"I want to know how you got your answer." Grandma says. "I was watching you working over there." She smiles.
I sigh.
"It's simple. I document everything everyone guesses and analyze what is guessed the most frequently, specifically ones that are guessed the most, and then I guess it using two other cards that I know aren't in the envelope, and then if nobody proves me wrong, that's in the envelope." I shrug. "The lead pipe was guessed eighteen times, the kitchen was guessed fourteen, and Scarlet was guessed ten, but Green was guessed nine. My last guess, I said the library." I pick the card out of my pile and drop it in the middle of the board. "And the revolver." I do the same with that one. "When Claire said she could prove me wrong, I knew she had Green because that's the only one I wasn't certain about, which left Scarlet. It's simple."
"It's not simple, it's complicated. The only person who understood what you just said is you." Liam says. "You're always figuring out difficult problems and stuff. You're so smart it's not even funny. I just don't-" he cuts off.
I pause.
"You don't what?" He shakes his head.
"Nothing."
"No. Say it Liam. You don't what?"
He looks down at his cards for a minute, and then straight into my eyes.
"I don't understand why you let Alex trick you into thinking his way of life was okay." He says. "You have so much potential and you're wasting it."
I sigh.
"Please. I have the least amount of potential out of everyone in this house. I'm the biggest disappointment. If I got a job, everyone would be shocked."
And it's true, and he doesn't try to tell me otherwise. He just shakes his head and starts picking up the game.
"I hate him." He says finally.
"Who?" I ask.
"Alex. I hate him. If I ever see him again, I'm going to punch him."
I pause. "If you ever see him again, promise me you won't say a word to him. That goes for everyone."
"No. If I see him again, I'll punch him."Liam repeats.
"Promise me you won't." I say more seriously.
"Why are you trying to protect him?" He glares at me.
"I'm not trying to protect him." I glare back. "If you try to hurt him, he'll probably kill you. You said earlier he always looks like he's packing? That's because most of the time, he is."
Liam just stares at me for a second. I put the last few pieces in the box and put the lid on.
"What made you leave him?" He asks finally. "After everything, all the stuff Mom and Dad tried. After all the family interventions and the tears, what finally pushed you to leave?"
I pick at a loose string on my pajama pants and sigh.
"He cheated on me." I say. And then I shrug. "You guys have to understand, no matter what you did, I wasn't going to leave him unless I wanted to. I'm just very..."
"Independent." Mom whispers, running her fingers through my hair.
"Yeah. I can't leave him because somebody else wants me to. I have to leave him because I want to. And you don't understand. All those drugs." I shake my head slowly. "It makes you feel good. It makes you think that what you're doing is okay, even though it isn't. It never is." I shrug. "But he cheated...so I left him."
"Well I hope he got what he deserved." Claire says.
The hazy memory of me smashing his van and letting it roll into the lake flashes through my mind and I nod.
"He did."
Nobody says anything for a couple of minutes.
"Well you guys head off to bed. We have a lot of baking to do tomorrow." Grandma says.

_____

I'm sitting at my college procrastinating before I have to go into class

~Sam