Thoughts

Dreamland

The moment when you just want to sleep. Not to recharge or refresh for a new day. Sleep to escape reality. So that I have no worries. No reason to cry or have anxiety or stress. An alternate universe where there is no sense of time. So I can finally breathe. Relax. Enjoy my imaginary live.

There are other times where I don't even dream. That's okay too. Just black. Simply nothingness that devours you. There is no need to dream. To create an alternate universe. Needing the darkness because sometimes it's better than being blinded by the light.

What's worse than a nightmare? Dreaming reality. Worrying about missing a date. Being alone. Not feeling complete, feeling some sort of void that nothing can fill.

They say nothing lasts forever and that's exactly how I feel when I wake. Another day in reality that I have dreaded. I put a smile on my face because I should be blessed and grateful for everything that has been given to me. A family. Friends. An education. A roof over my head. And so much more. But I still haven't found my calling, something that I am truly passionate about. Something that I can see myself doing the rest of my life.

Here I am though, back in my reality and all I can think about is when my next slumber is. Is it that sad that I wake up every morning looking forward to when I can get back to the dreamland that is even pure darkness sometimes. I need to find myself. Go out. Explore. Be young and stupid. But not too stupid. I need to live and find my reason for living.

At the end of the day I still look towards my bed and see this alternate universe that no one can enter. My dreamland. My black hole. My darkness. My temporary home.