Through a Wormhole and Among the Stars

A Cry For Help

By now Eiffel's body was more dead than he was alive. That's what happens after repeated use of a cryo pod. Not to mention he could feel the Decima virus taking it's toll on his system. At this point, he knew he would never make it to the U.S.S. Hermes, but it was nice to hope. He wouldn't give up until he died. And seeing as the cryo pod used up all his water and he was low on food, it was only a matter of time. He had hallucinated his crew members too many times to count, and they were the only thing keeping him going until now. His body was weak and falling apart, literally. His hair and nails had froze off completely, and his skin was cracked and falling off in large flakes. He couldn't feel his arms or legs, and his fingers and toes were starting to turn a dark purple from the frostbite. And there was nothing he could do anymore. Nothing to do but talk. That's what he did best after all. And seeing as no one was listening, he guessed he could talk all he wanted.

He had been talking for a while now. He wasn't sure how long. After his spiel about his situation and the things he wouldn't get to do, he was sick and tired of it all. But Hera wouldn't get out of his head, and he knew that his friends wouldn't want him to give up so easily after how far he'd come, so he decided to try one last time.

"Mayday mayday mayday, all ships at sea. This is Doug Eiffel on board the... oh god it's getting hard to think up a sarcastic name for this floating death trap... This is Doug Eiffel on board the U.S.S. Long And Painful Death. I have been stranded on board a nonoperational vessel. I am in need of immediate emergency assistance. If there is anyone out there, and I mean anyone, please respond. Please respond, please respond, please respond..."

Silence. Empty static. Last sign of hope, gone. He sat there and closed his eyes, ready to go with some form of dignity. He was ready. And then a voice sounded from the radio and his eyes flew open.

"Um, U.S.S. Long And Painful Death? Do you copy?"

"Yes! Yes I copy! I copy loud and clear! Do you have a lock on my position?"

"Yes we do. We are preparing our loading dock as we speak."

"Fantastic! Who is this?"

"This is Lieutenant Uhura of the U.S.S. Enterprise."

And just like that Eiffel felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach as tears welled up in his eyes. "No... No no no! Just when I think I stop hallucinating I start fantasizing about being rescued by fucking fictional characters!" On the other end Uhura didn't know what to do. The man she was talking to was clearly delusional, and there was no telling how long he had been stranded. Still, she did her best to reassure him, "Sir, I can assure you that this is real."

"No it's not! None of this is! You're just stuck in my head like the others, here to keep me company so I won't go insane, but surprise surprise! Too late for that! God, why won't I just die already?"

"We are about to load your ship. You might feel some movement, so please try to remain calm."

"You're not gonna do shit because you aren't real. But hey, since this is all just a figment of my imagination, anything goes, right? I'm dreaming now, so anything can happen. I'll get to fulfill my dream of getting to see the Enterprise and meet the crew. And while I'm at it, I'll even kiss Kirk cause he's hot as hell. And Minkowski and Lovelace and Hera will all be there too, hell, even Hilbert. And maybe we'll fly around the galaxy and meet up with Han and Chewy while we're at it and go on wacky space adventures and laugh and have fun! And then it will all end. Because I'll be dead. Because I'm not gonna be saved."

"You are not dreaming and you are not going to die. You are almost docked."

"Yeah yeah Uhura, whatever you say. I'm just gonna close my eyes and die soon." But the entire time he was talking it felt as though he were moving. His eyes were closed; he didn't have the strength to open them. And when he heard muffled voices and the space around him flooded with light, he assumed he was dying. Maybe he was a good enough person to make it to heaven after all. His eyes blinked open briefly and he saw silhouetted figures outlined by an unearthly glow, and if he hadn't been convinced he was dead, he sure was now. He didn't bother staying conscious and gave into his exhaustion, even though he could hear a gruff voice telling him to stay awake.