Harie Potah and the crack heads of Beverly Hills but not

Finale chaptere

Harie POV.
Oh dang I forgot that today I start hogywarts woopsie I didn't set a reminder on my brand new pumpkin batch#420 ha oh no I won't get any happy meal on Thomas the bloody tank. Ms Bassett won't be there to offer me anything from her trolley of ft books that look like a pile o' shite.

*gets hit in the face*

Oh shit tf was that omg my hogywarts letter must have fallen off my shelf fucking dobie
Meister 666 that twat. Oh well better look through my list see if I forgot anything. Oh look Ron repellent haha no ok. *gasp* oh shit I forgot the crack for fawkes the fried chicken dang it I promised the waffle I wouldn't forget it this year it always wanted my special dinosaur meat crack oops. Looks like I better sneak into diagonally or maybe poundland (not pound stretcher bc that's ded) and pick up the good kush lel. Ok I must bid farewell to my lettuce-eating uncle and cousin Vernon and dudly. I have to go ask Vernon for some money but not too much bc he's only got a few dollars so I can transfer it at the nearest morrisons for some great British pounds yum.
Ok I have my soon-to-be-dollars now gonna go buy the crack for chicken.

*at poundland*

Oh shit I bumped into a shelf of candles and my hotness accidentally lit them on fire so I guess you could say the shop is lit and so is my good kush ey. Well now that the fire siren is going off I'm definitely going to sister slide out the store so I don't get sister slain by the angry 10 year olds hoping to buy their minion onesies.

*on the tank*

Oh dang I think it smells worse than last year must be all the ginger. Anyhoo I think I'm going to wrap up the crack for fawkes now because I want it to look presentable so that non of the gods from up above see that I have sister sinned but I'm getting to hell anyway way so sister skrrt.

Once I have finished watching a tutorial on how to wrap crack without it looking like a ham I shout for my bucket of tomato ketchup and *slurpy slurp* it's fucking gone and now if someone tries to stab me in the stomach then my stock of tomato ketchup will squirt them in the face and they will be blinded leaving me enough time to sister scooby skiddadle.

*fejdjdk*

Oh shit I'm running out of time to call my grandma and say merry summer whatever will I do. I know. I'll use my pumpkin phone batch#420 and call my lawyer to tell her that it was in my will to say merry summer and have a good week. Perfect. Oh wait I forgot I'm my lawyer whoops well better tell dumbldoor that he's my dad and that he should do it instead ha.

*at hogywarts*

Oh look fucking hamgrid and snappy fish damn those squid ink colored locks MMMM sister snatched my wig ey. lolerz. K guess I better go to fawkes the fried chicken and deliver his crack here I go I'm waking up stair no. Lalaal almost there ok I'm there now thank you calm the applause. I sang my entry into the cave of zero dumblefucks that I give ha. I suddenly see a majestic glowing figure that looks like all of my sister shady dreams all in one. Oh no never,I don't it's forks. "Here you go twat" I said to the fork. "Sister shaking" it said back and suddenly I was alone in the darkness again. Oh no nevermind I was blinking ha.

The end

an: k I think I'm high thank you for ready please remember to nominate me for the watty's and teen choice awards @yormumsmybae ty