If Youth Were A Punishment |ON HOLD|

Anesthesia, PT. 2

A/N:

So I forgot to mention how different this story will be from The Rap Line. It is going to be dark, depressing, angsty, and unfortunately, realistic. 

This is my writing style, and I hope that everyone is comfortable with it.

If not, please click away. Thank you.

{Yoongi's Perspective}

I never got what it was to be normal.. It's like, when I try, it's somehow noticeable in every way possible. I have tried my entire life to experience that sensation of normality. However, I have remained unsuccessful in that for my entire life..

So..

I thought, what better way to become normal, than to die? Since, of course, we all die, eventually. When our time is up..

I guess..

The time that I had specifically chosen to die, was not my time. And though my efforts to succeed in the area of normality were worthless, I do not believe that this failure will provoke me to stop reaching for that normality.

I want it so bad..

I've wanted to be normal more than anything. To lead a normal life, and, to understand what normal is.

See, I've always been told to love myself. However, when you're consistently told something, you start to believe it.

I was aware that there was no way that I could truly love myself.

There..

Never will be.

I decided to abandon my idea of normality and self appreciation prior to arriving to the hospital that night.

I remained conscious that entire night.

And that night, I was able collect all of the thoughts that had accumulated in my mind over the years, and bring them back to life as I lay in that hospital bed.

That shitty, uncomfortable hospital bed..

{Flashback to Yoongi's Childhood}

{Author POV}

"Eomma, Appa, look, I made my bed all by myself!" Exclaimed a smaller, four year old Min Yoongi. Audibly, a scoff could be heard coming from the room across the hall. The little boy recognized this scoff as his father. His father.. His father who had been storming to his bedroom angrily.

"Yah! Yoongi. When will you learn that a simple task is nothing to be proud of?" He grumbled, glaring down at the pale boy with a stern expression.

"I'm sorry, Appa. I will remember to be better, next time.." The boy murmured, lowering his head shamefully as his father's words plodded through his head.

Unexpectedly, the frail boy's mother had appeared from within the dark halls, her features illuminated with disgust.

"When will you learn to shut your mouth? Never talk back to your Appa." She demanded, crossing her arms with a small, 'Hmph,' Before exiting the room.

His father simply shook his head, gritting his teeth as he stared down at the wreck beneath him.

"I'm so sorry, Appa.." He stammered, tears already filling his eyes as he did his best to hold them back.

At the sound of a loud crash, the boy backed up and flinched when his father threw the blanket and sheets upon his freshly made bed against a now broken mirror. Yoongi's eyes widened. His hard work, gone to waste.

"Clean." His father commanded, and with that, escorting himself out of the small bedroom.

{Author POV}

{Present Day}

The pale boy stared upon several pieces of shattered glass.

"I will clean it well." He mumbled to himself, eyes shifting upon the broken mirror as he moved down with his bare hands to pick up one of the glass fragments. Moving to place it into the trash bin, he stopped as his hand in which held the fragment hovered over the bin. Swallowing thickly, the short male used all of his strength to drop it.

"No.."

"Please tell me.. If I did well.."

Again, the frail boy was wiping his face with the palm of his delicate hands in a blatant attempt to avoid the tears that streamed down his face.

"Eomma, Appa.." He echoed through sobs.

"Did I do well.." The pale man got up slowly, pulling his small body up with the help of the wall's support.

His steps made their way through the hall to enter his kitchen.

As he opened one of the cabinets above his counters, he swallowed thickly and grabbed a container of pills, following a bottle of vodka.

He swallowed three of the pills with a swig of the alcohol, and continued out to his balcony. Yet another bottle of medication lay on its side next to a curtain that flowed within the wind.

Crouching down, Yoongi took another pill, swallowing it with the help of his drink.

At this point, the young man's crying had ceased, and all that remained from it was the white stains that ran down his cheeks. Before running a hand through his platinum-blonde hair, the small man drank again, and resumed to walk onto his balcony.

The night sky had always been full of infinity. Police sirens wailed in the distance as Yoongi gazed into the night. The souls of unborn children gleaming in the darkness as cars could be heard driving and honking their horns beneath them. The tall architectures that made every individual in Seoul seem so petite. The hospital.

The man's attention had been impaled by the distinct melody of a piano playing in the distance. He did what any other man would do, he when toward it.

Leaving his alcohol behind after taking a single sip more, Yoongi stumbled to pick up the pace as the sound of a piano's song became closer with every step he took.

Then, a voice.

"I've discovered emotions, smile with me." It called out. A young, male sounding voice. Maybe a man in his late teens.

Yoongi ran toward the voice.

And, it stopped.

As the pale man paused his actions at once, he panted breathlessly to notice his surroundings.

It seemed familiar. Maybe he'd been there in a dream, or, before..

The pitch white outline of the room gave it a vibe similar to a mental asylum. In the middle of room, a hospital bed.

What caught Yoongi's attention, though, was the art plastered against one of the walls. It was a beautiful portrait of a forest. Trees covering the frame as fog draped over them.

Suddenly, the small male could see nothing. His vision had instituted a blackened state. However, appearing in the distance was another man.

The man seemed to flicker as if a broken record were to cut out between plays. Standing around the same size as Yoongi, the man in the distance slowly looked up at the other. Hair covered his eyes.

Before Yoongi was able to glimpse any of the man's features, he disappeared. However, Yoongi could distinctly remember a brief second where he noticed the man's smirk before whispering,

"Give me back my smile."

 A/N:

Now you understand my writing style a little better.

If you do not know who BTS is, and are not familiar with their album, 'Wings,' Then most of the symbolism and references in this story will be foreign to you.

So far, I am really enjoying writing this. Please continue to vote, read and support me. It means more than you know.