Always Be Here

Chap 4

"Are you sure you're okay with being home alone all day? I mean, I can come check on you when I go on my breaks." Kath said, tying an apron around her waist. She worked at a coffee shop downtown and Lisa worked at the local library, where she had already gone to about a hour after I snuck back in the house.

"

I'll be fine Kath. Besides, Lisa comes home at 3." I said reassuringly. She looked like she was still contemplating but she had to go.

"Okay. Text or call if you need anything Laurie. Love ya. Drink alot of water and get plenty of rest." She said smiling then closing my door. I heard footsteps go down the stairs then I heard the front door slam. I let out the breath I had been holding in and got up when I heard Kath's car roar away. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, grabbing a Mountain Dew from the fridge. All that I could think about was Normani. She was so... Odd. Something was off about the things she told me. And the way she looked at me. She looked at me like she knew everything about me, like she knew every thought I had ever had. Still, the mysterious woman astounded me. I found myself liking the strange girl, my heart going crazy every time I looked into her eyes. Then my mind wandered back to cutting. No matter what I did, I couldn't stop doing it. No other coping skill helped me with my anxiety and depression. I started to get that familiar itch again, needing to slice my skin apart. I went to the knife drawer in the kitchen just as the bell rang. Now who could that be? I walked over to the door and looked through the peep hole. Normani. I quickly unlocked the door and smiled at her. She smiled back and did that thing where she tilts her head to the left.

"Come in." I said, stepping aside and letting her walk in the house. She looked around before turning to me.

"So... How do you know where I live?" I asked her. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Because... I don't live too far away from you." She said, sounding unsure of herself.

"Oh yeah? Where at?" I tested her.

"Couple of streets over. The uhm... Apartments." She said, looking at the decor in the living room. I looked down and saw that I was only in a black sports bra and blue boy shorts. My hair was up in a messy bun and my face was clear of make up. When I had got back from the diner, I jumped in the shower and made a couple of throwing up noises loud enough for my sisters to hear. I remembered the 20 dollar bill and ran up stairs to retrieve it from my pants pocket. I ran back down and slid it to her. She just raised an eyebrow, but took the bill back anyway. 

"You want somethin' to drink or anything?" I asked her, starting to get a little nervous. She shook her head no.

"Can I sit?" She asked me. I nodded yes and she sat down on the couch, eying the TV in a peculiar way. I raised an eyebrow as she pointed to it.

"Where's like... The rest of the television at?" She asked seriously. I looked at the flat screen and walked over to it, looking in the back of it. I shrugged and sat next to her.

"Its all there. What? You... You never seen a flat screen television before?" I asked hesitantly. She just kept looking at it weirdly. Something was so odd about her. Its like she stepped out of another time and came here. I should press her for more information.

"So, do you live alone?" I asked her, my voice echoing in the big living room.

"Yes." Her soft voice said.

"Where are your parents?" I asked.

"Dead. Been dead a long time." She said, looking at me.

"Do you have siblings?" I asked her. She tilted her head to the left and it made me smile at how cute it is every time she does it. She shrugged her shoulders up and down.

"They're... Around." She said.

"Brothers? Sisters?"

"You ask a lot of questions Lauren."

"Thats because I don't understand you. I want to understand who you are, where you came from, how you know the things you do." I explained. She sighed and turned her head away from me.

"Some things, they can't really be explained. They're better left alone. All you really need to know is, I'm here for you. I'll be your friend Lauren." She said sincerely. It warmed my heart to hear her say that. A real friend... Something I had never had before. As odd as she was, I trusted her completely. I felt... Attached to her. I felt like she was honest, real. Was she real? I put my hand out to touch her face, just to see. My breath caught in my throat, almost afraid that if I did try to touch her, she'd disappear into thin air. But she didn't. Her face was smooth as butter and soft as silk. She smiled knowingly at me and put her hand on mine.

"I just... I wanted to see something." I said, pulling my hand back.

"See what?" She asked.

"If you were real. You are real, aren't you?" I asked her, feeling kind of stupid. Of course she was. She was sitting right next to me. She shook her head yes.

"As real as you want me to be." She answered me. She reached over and her fingers trailed down my upper right arm, touching all of my scars.

"Do you want to live?" She asked me. I looked at her like she was crazy.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Do you want to live, Lauren?" She repeated herself. I thought about it, looking down at the white tile floor. She grabbed my chin and lifted it up, making me look at her. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"I... I don't know Normani. I don't know what it feels like to really live. But I don't know where death will take me. I don't know where I want to be." I said, my tears threatening to spill over.

"You've been bullied a lot. And other people's opinions of you make you second guess yourself." She said softly.

"Lauren, you're worth life. You deserve to live. No matter what that voice in your head says. No matter what those mean girls at school say. You are worthy." She said, making my tears finally slide down my cheeks. On an impulse, I quickly grabbed her into a hug. She was so warm, so inviting. I laid my head on her shoulder and she held me tight.

"You're worthy. You're worthy Lauren." She repeated softly, letting me cry until my eyes wouldn't water anymore. I didn't know how long I had been in her arms, but I knew I didn't want to ever let her go. All thoughts of leaving this earth prematurely slipped away as I felt myself get sleepy. She slowly rocked me back and forth in her arms, making me close my eyes and welcome the rest I needed.
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