* signifies flashback in case you don't see italics !
-
bill looks as guilty as ever. his eyes are downcast, and stanley just stares at him, waiting for an explanation.
"look," bill finally says. "you were really upset with me."
stanley scrunches his nose in distaste - their argument was not his proudest moment.
***
"don't be ridiculous!" bill's mad — of course he would never cheat on his boyfriend, and with a girl no less! but stanley doesn't budge. his arms are crossed, and he's fuming.
"oh, go whine about it to your new girlfriend," stan is sure that he's being unreasonable, but he's in too deep now.
"baby, you know that nothing is going on! it's just you and your stupid fucking insecurities!" bill's eyes widen once he realizes what he says, how he hits a sore spot, and stan's face contorts as he takes obvious offence. "no, i mean, i didn't mean that-"
"i think we should take a break."
bill feels his heart drop to the floor. "what? no, baby, please."
"go," stanley says, and his voice cracks a bit. he points at his door. "get out!"
***
"i remember," stanley finally mumbles, and the crack in his voice resembles the one from so many nights ago. "and then you went out to kiss some guy."
"that's not-" bill raises his hands to his hair, tugging on the strands in frustration. "that's not what happened."
stanley raises his eyebrows. that's how he recalls it.
***
bill stumbles into the bar, already drunk. stanley's roommate had dragged him there that night in order to get his mind off of his sort of break up, but instead he just comes face to face with the reason of this nights sadness.
bill doesn't see him at first. he fumbles his way to the bar, orders a drink, chugs it down and then orders a few shots to do, too. he's alone. he looks sad. his eyes are bloodshot.
stanley doesn't want to keep looking, but he can't take his eyes off of the sore sight. bill takes the shots with ease. he's trying to get wasted.
suddenly, bill's head turns, and he spots stanley staring at him. he raises his eyebrows, and starts to move towards him.
stanley turns away, though, his back to the boy who'd upset him. he knows that if bill reaches him, he'll immediately feel obliged to take care of him.
after a few moments without being interrupted by bill, stanley turns back to face where he had been only moments ago, wondering why he'd never made it over, curiosity getting the better of him.
he finds the reasoning when he sees his boyfriends tongue shoved down another guy's throat.
***
"i was drunk as hell," bill recounts, and he rubs his hands over his eyes in a stressed out manner. "the guy stopped me on my way to you. i remember calling your name, and he laughed and agreed, said his name was stanley – he had curls, too – so i apologized to him because i fucking thought it was you. and he said it was fine, and he kissed me. he fucking meant nothing to me. you know you're the only one that did."
stanley feels even more sick to his stomach.
***
the dizziness that overcomes stanley when bill knocks on his door the next day is overwhelming.
he doesn't know what to do or say. but it mostly comes naturally when the door opens and reveals his ex-lovers face.
"stanley..."
"fuck off, bill."
"stanley, please. i love you. i'm sorry."
"sorry for being a dick or sorry for hooking up with another guy last night?"
bill's face drops. he isn't sure how stan found out. it's hard for him to remember most of it. "we were- we were broken up."
"we were 'on a break'," stanley corrects, and he squeezes his eyes shut. "we're breaking up now."
bill feels his heart drop.
***
stanley doesn't know how he is supposed to react to this memory. it feels like it been longer than seven minutes. it's only been five, according to the numbers on his watch.
"please," bill says faintly, and he looks sad. "the only reason i even went out that night...i thought i'd lost you."
hear that? stanley's heart shatters further. this boy standing in front of him had taken his heart and smashed it into pieces after four years of love and commitment, and only now does he find out that it was all an accident? a simple misunderstanding? and that he cares so much to attempt to fix it after so long?
before he can reply, though, a timer goes off, and max and the others are yelling for them to leave the closet and join them again, and so stanley exits without a look back.
