Dobre Brothers Adopted Caspian

Chapter 33

Caspian's POV:
School is right around the corner and still I have not heard if Crimson is coming home or not from Spain. I know he is with family but I really miss him. I still have not spoken to any of the brothers except for Cyrus and I think it is killing them. It kills me to even want to talk to them and I am starting to feel the guilt rising through me. I am packing my backpack with all of the necessary school supplies and it was very stressful. I turned on some music when I heard someone walk into the room and I looked to see Lucas standing there. "You need any help", he said. I shook my head no before he sighed and came over to me. "What is it going to take to make you talk to us again", says Lucas. I shrugged my shoulders before he walked away and I finished packing for school. I picked up my drawing pad along with a sharpie, pencil, eraser, and colored pencils before sitting down on the floor to draw Crimson and I at Hogwarts with our robes on. We are both in Slytherin and the picture was amazing. I colored it in before tracing the lines in sharpie and ergasing the extra pencil lines. After it was done, I ripped it out of the pad and put it into a picture frame to hang later. I picked out my outfit for school before laying down on my bed to stare at the ceiling and thought about my first day of school. Without Crimson it feels like I am missing half of me that was not there before and it kills me inside. Also it is killing me that I have not spoken to any of brothers in days and I badly want to apologized to them even though they probably hate me. When I knew they are asleep, I decided to write some letters to them and it would be nice for them to hear all of my feelings. First is Lucas and he is very easy.
Dear Lucas,
I am very sorry if I have offended you in any way but I absolutely meant no harm to you. I guess I was a bit stressed and paranoid that you guys would come after my older brothers that were there for me since birth. You have two amazing older brothers that love and support you guys to death. I don't think you will forgive me since I am not the favorite or the perfect brother that you want me to be and it kills me inside. I honestly can't hate you that much but you have to understand that I am not like you guys.
Sorry,
Caspian

Dear Marcus, 
          I get you are probably angry and I don't want to cause trouble with you. I have nothing to say anymore and it kills me inside right now. Maybe I could change my ways or do something that I can gain your trust way. But you also need to gain my trust, love and forgiveness to you since I am not fully offering it.
From,
Caspian

Dear Darius,
        I am dearly sorry for my brothers actions and I know it was wrong. I want to go back to fix it but I fully know that I can't and I want to deeply say sorry. I am not the perfect brother that you always wanted but right now I want to change it even if it means being with my biological brothers. I am not afraid to admit that I want to die but I am given no choice since no one really wants me around anymore. I hope you can fully understand unless we can fix this right now but I want to be apart of your family so much.

So sorry,

Caspian

Dear Cyrus,

I guess you are the only one that I can fully trust right now and I know you fully understand me. You made who I am but I just can't thank you enough. Remember those words you told me when we were on the bed while I was injured. Yeah I was hoping that maybe I felt closer to you since you remind me so much of Duke. I can't imagine life without you in it and I know it hurts me deep down to hate you guys. I truly can't hate you but right now I am scared to death to know that my family is not helping me anymore. 

Sorry,

Caspian

I put the letters under each of their doors before grabbing my phone and bolting out of the house. I had to run away in order to figure out things on my own and I definitely didn't need their excuses any longer. I ran until my legs couldn't go any further so I looked around to see that I am in the city so I wandered around to see if I can hide somewhere for awhile. I turned my phone off so nobody could find me and I went down an alley way to hide next to a cardboard box that was big enough for me to sleep in for now. "I'm so sorry Cyrus, Darius, Lucas and Marcus", I said. I don't really hate them but my heart is shattering to pieces and it is killing me inside.