Is It Too Late?

Chapter One

Four years. Four years since I'd seen them let alone spoken to them and yet here I was getting ready to go to their show. Why am I doing this? The question looped around in my brain on constant repeat from the second I stepped outside of my dingy apartment. I had no reasonable explanation other than I bought the ticket on impulse when I saw who the band was. Not even four years could erase the memories I had with them and all I could focus on at that moment was how much I missed them. So, I had handed over the money and it took a few good minutes before realizing what I'd just done. There have been few times in my life where I've acted impulsively, and those few times were such a long time ago. They all circled back to the boys. It's hard not to laugh at the irony. Four years later and they've still got me acting like a teenager.

My god, what have I gotten myself into?

See, I could live with myself if I knew I was being dramatic, but how can one not react so strongly when they're about to see a group of people that went through hell and back with you? Okay, hold on, I suppose it was two people, in particular, that got me through some rough patches. Us three spent our last four years of school together. We were inseparable after that first year. Together we struggled through the pitfalls. Cried and laughed during the good times. Our trio grew to six at the end of the third year and from that moment on we were our own group. The Outcasts. Rebels without a cause. It carried on like that for quite a while. The boys had started their own band, and... well, it hurt to remember what had happened. It all went so fast and I had no choice but to leave. There hadn't been time for long goodbyes or plans to be made. For a while, there had been letters, but within a few months, those became less frequent until they stopped altogether. Lost addresses and the constant state of moving didn't help out the situation. Had it been up to me I would've never left, unfortunately, my parents had other ideas. Not just for themselves but for me as well. They pictured me being someone of high society. A lawyer if you will. They often looked the other way rather than see me for who I really was. Who I wanted to be. It didn't come to be a big surprise when I dropped out of college when the opportunity came. At least to me, it wasn't a surprise. I had a passion for writing. Not for needles and patients.

That's what brought me here to Seattle. Living the dream of being an aspiring writer. Shady apartment complex included. Of course, none of that mattered right now. Right now was me walking to a stadium where it was crowded inside and out. Parking spaces filled to the brink, the streets were filled with both cars and pedestrians. You could feel excitement crackling in the air. Thousands bore shirts with the band's logo on it. It was almost overwhelming, although I wasn't coming in knowing nothing. I'd heard a few things here and there about the band, and I couldn't resist buying a few of their records. I knew they'd be good, however, it brought along bittersweet emotions. A lot of memories too.

And you're about twenty minutes away from seeing them again, a tiny voice in my head took great pleasure in reminding me. My heart was pounding in my chest. I didn't waste time on trying to calm it down because I knew the effort would be futile.

I didn't have to stand in the line that curved around the stadium since I already had bought my ticket. Instead, I was led inside by security where tons of fans were already bunched around the merchandise booths. Everyone's voices buzzing around in anticipation of the show. I was tempted to join the crowds, but I was drawn to the front of the stage. There was no designated seating and a wall of people were already there. I managed to get close enough where I knew I would get a decent view. I desperately wanted to see them all again, and I certainly didn't plan on it being like this, but I had to take what I could get. Even if they didn't see me, which was looking to be the case. I wasn't all that tall, and the lights alone would blind them from getting any sort of view of the crowd. That's okay, I thought. Maybe it's better off that way.