The Spirits of Route 66: Book of Delbert

Mister Toad Speaks

Beyond the river and the bridge, the ancient crosstimbers rolled away toward the east. The western half of this state is primarily prairie and plains, but the other half is filled with rich forests and deep pools of cool water. It's an area that Delbert had not really explored much, not in life and not in death, but just now it seemed like a logical place to lose one's self within his tangled web of grief and confusion. He let go of the bridge and drifted away, essentially allowing the breeze to whisk him along, through antediluvian treetops deeper and deeper, and time was no longer an issue and oscillating emotion was all... it ebbed and it flowed and it dragged him along. At some point the despair reached a crescendo and it bogged him down right there, lost within an enchanted forest with its cathedral of trees. Time may indeed heal but in a timeless void where it does not exist he understood that he'd be required to heal himself.

And so he bowed his head and he tried.

He opened his mind allowing all to freely come and go and he heard a chattering congregation of birds roosting high above, wise owls hooting their encouragement toward him. Through the gloaming he saw a pond filled with croaking toads and suddenly he was hovering above it, looking down upon his sad reflection, and it began to talk back at him.

In premature death you have sacrificed much. All of the wonderful things in human life that you surely missed. The holidays, the family gatherings, your chums at work and all the wonderful things you might have achieved. And worse, you couldn't be there for them. You never were able to offer a pat on the back to your son, to gift a simple word of encouragement in a needed moment, you couldn't be there to walk your daughter down that aisle, you will never even know your own grandchildren. And you could not be there late at night for Desirae, when her world appeared bleak and the dark hours converged and nearly suffocated her. She was so lonely. It breaks your heart, it sticks a hot dagger into your soul, and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it.

This is the healing? thought Delbert. Gee, thanks a lot...

Ah, but the wound must be fully observed, duly noted in all its grotesque grandeur, before a proper cleansing can even begin.

Two large toad eyes stuck out from the muck near the shore, and then the rest of the bullfrog was revealed by a little hop onto the mud. Amazing, how that bullfrog kept croaking and yet in Delbert's mind he could hear its words in a clear masculine voice, he felt its feeling, an odd line of communication had somehow been generated between the two of them.

Your loss was someone else's gain, brother. Sad to say but it's true. Your absence was filled by another force. It is only natural, cause and effect. As an easy example, your brother stepped up and was there for your children, and he had an old college friend who had a daughter who became your son's wife. If you had been there, then that would not have happened. Sure, your son might have married just as happily, but not to that woman who begat those children. Your grandchildren, who know of you, who want to know more of you, so keep thinking those good thoughts of love and send them their way! You can do it, you can do a lot of things, just flap your wings and fly!

And Delbert thought, flap your own dang wings and fly away Mister Toad, and why should a toad be a carrier of such redeeming knowledge anyway?

But this toad was not done yet.

Years ago, when you were a boy, you caught me down by the creek. I was placed in a coffee can with a wire mesh above it. As an aside, the smell of fresh grounds makes me ill to this day. But after much consternation you let me go. I thought I might return the favor – for you are ensnared within your own trap of regret – so I want to let you go. Now I must run along and hibernate. With the dragonflies. But come next spring, I'll be back. And you should probably be long gone by then. Farewell, my brother.

And with that the bullfrog blinked and hopped a way, disappearing in a plop of dappling pond water.

Where he went from there is anybody's guess.