Bts imagine

Kim Teahyung

Summary : girl's death . Don't read if you get triggered easily.

Last words

Dearest Taehyung,

You have been my best friend, my lover, and the light in my life since we first met over a year ago now. I have loved you with my whole heart. I couldn’t imagine ever loving someone such as you, until you came along.

You provided me with hope for the future. Hope for love. And best of all, allowed me to experience what love actually feels like.
I haven’t had or felt so strongly in such a long time, Taehyung. We have been through it all – love, hate, violence, turbulence, and anger. You made me complete Kim Taehyung and I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful person in my life than you.

By now you know that I have issues - I mean who doesn’t right? But you have been understanding and patient with me, coaxing me through my panic and anxiety, and all of the times that I kept you awake crying because of my depression.

You have stuck with me through thick and thin. No matter what I had problems with, you were there with me, whether you were by my side or not. I could call you at any time of the day or night and you would be patient with me, not caring that I was encroaching on your personal time. I know your friends chastised you over it, but you didn’t care, taking it in stride, just as long as I was alright.

If I ever had a problem I knew who to go to, I knew who I could call by pressing that one number on the phone pad. I waited with baited breath until you picked up the phone and could soothe my frayed nerves or calm me down from whatever emotions that are coursing through my blood at the moment.

I loved being able to see your face on Skype or on Facetime whenever it was an option, which you always penciled in time during the day. It didn’t matter if you were tired, you still made time for me and let me know that I was loved. That you were thinking of me.

Which only made me fall more in love with you every moment that you did something sweet for me. Like when you were across the globe, but didn’t forget to have flowers sent to our house, or when you would come home from tour one day earlier just to surprise me. I loved every minute that we spent together and would never exchange it for anything in the world.

But unfortunately, things must come to an end. Please know that this decision didn’t have anything to do with you at all Tae. I love you more than I have loved anyone or could ever love anyone. I want you to move on from me Tae. Move on and find a nice girl who will give you a family. A nice girl who isn’t anything like me, and would make the world proud that she is your girlfriend.

Taehyung, I don’t believe that you know what was running through my mind on the day that we met. I was such a wreck and you were so nice and kind that I never wanted our interaction to come to an end.

Perhaps if I told you about my internal struggles more in depth we wouldn’t be standing on the edge of the precipice that we are right now. Perhaps if I found it within my heart to trust you more, to not worry and obsess that you might leave me for acting a certain way then I could have lived my whole life at your side.

But that isn’t the way that my mind works. I couldn’t just let you in to see the darkest side of me that I held deep within my body. I couldn’t trust you not to break my heart, even though you had proven time and time again that you weren’t giving up on me, no matter how difficult I acted to test your limits.

I didn’t tell you about the swirling mass of insecurities that raged inside my soul. I didn’t tell you about how much I wanted to jump off of a bridge every time we crossed one. I didn’t tell you my fantasies with the razor blade that I kept taped underneath my desk for emergencies if I ever needed it.