The kiss lasted for just a fraction of a second but it felt spiritual to me that I almost cried. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her hair.
"So, this is how hugging you feels like..." I spoke.
She laughed softly. "How does it feel?"
"Like I have the whole universe in my arms..."
She didn't say anything and just embraced me tighter.
"Does this mean na...tayo na?" I asked.
She lifted her face to look at me. "You want me to tell you the truth?"
I inwardly groaned. "Okay," I replied pretending to be brave.
"I am scared."
"Of what?"
"Of this..."
"Of us?"
She nodded.
"Bakit?" I queried.
"I am afraid that we'd get judged. You're four years younger, Ai. I am an adult and you're a minor. Tongues are going to wag—"
"Why would other people's opinion hold weight in our decision to be together? Sino ba ang mga 'yun? Mahal kita. Mahal mo rin ako—teka lang, mahal mo naman ako, 'di ba?"
"Where's that confident young man who asserted his claim on me so forcefully?"
"He takes a back seat when pitted against your excellent rebutting skills."
"It didn't come across that way earlier," she said.
"Do you love me, Ia?"
"I do...but the world works differently, Ai. And it will frown upon us because of our age gap."
She laughed softly. "Alam mo bang wala akong balak na umamin nang ganito kaaga? I wanted to wait until you're eighteen. At least you'd be an adult, too, and society would deem you capable of making decisions about loving a woman who's four years older than you."
"Ia..."
"Teka lang, let me finish."
I nodded.
"I am scared, too, because I know that feelings are fickle. I don't want to risk our friendship when yours would change. I wasn't lying when I said that your attraction towards me might fade. Nangyayari 'yun. That's why I want you to experience what it's like to spend time with girls who are your age—"
"Ia, I didn't graduate from an all-boys' school. I've been around girls my age my whole life. What exactly do you mean by what you said?"
"Was there anyone that—"
"None," I said cutting her off. "Ano ba 'to, seryoso ba itong usapang 'to? I have loved you since I was six. What were those feelings then? Wala lang kasi bata pa ako n'un? I have dreamed of marrying you and having a family with you since I was nine, ano 'yun ilusyon ko lang ba? Hindi kita pwedeng pangarapin kasi mas bata ako?"
"Ai, relationships are more complicated than our feelings."
"Because you think it is. Kaya nagiging kumplikado. Ia, minahal kita nang kusa. Wala namang pumilit sa akin. Ako ang nanligaw sa'yo, ako ang nagplano kung paano ka mapapasaakin, ako ang naghabol. Kung meron mang may kasalanan dito at kung kasalanan man ang relasyong 'to, it's on me."
She didn't reply.
"Ngayon, gusto kitang tanungin, mahal mo rin ba ako?"
She just stared at me.
