ONE SHOT BOOK

I'll smile it off

Kai and I are the best of friends, some might even think we're dating. I would always brush it off like I didn't care but on the inside i'm screaming. I have a major crush on Kai for like a year now and he already knows it. Kai's the type of person to be cold to everyone he meets but when it's his friends, he's funny and always laughing.

Sometimes he would hurt me, he would call me out on things i'm too shy to admit, would always remind me that he will never love me and the like. I got used to it but my heart didn't. "Sasha-chan ?" Kai's face was infront of me, his eyes filled with worry. "O-oh hey, sorry" I said as I snap back into reality. "You were looking straight at the floor without blinking once" He sat next to me which is too close. My cheeks immediatley flared up. "Sorry, kinda deep in thought" I looked at Edward who was putting his thumbs up.

I glared at him as Kai put his iPad between us and then a familiar song came on. I start bobbing my head a bit as I heard the beat kick in. I closed my eyes for a bit as I feel the song since it describes me and him, our friendship, whatever it is. I heard Kai chuckle. I opened my eyes and looked at him with a raised brow. "What?" I tilted my head to the side in confusion.

He shook his head and smiled. "You just look cute that's all" He put his gadget down and turned it off. "w-what ?" I muttered in disbelief. It was rare to hear a compliment from him suddenly he grabbed Jake's arm and started shaking it harshly. "Woah dude ! did you see her again ?" My whole body tingled, like an alarm, my posture straightened and I looked at who was Jake pointing at and it was her. My heart ached, I clenched my hands, trying to calm myself.

"ohhh shit, she's looking this way !" He muttered excitedly next to me. Edward went up to me and patted my shoulder. I looked up at him and gave him a sly smile, he nodded. "Talk to her already" I said, nudging Kai. "W-what ? you're kidding right ?" He looked at me frantically. I gave him a look. He stood up and puffed his chest. "You can do it " I gave him a slight push. "Yeah !" The rest of our gang yelled and Kai went up to Lili, the love of his life, she was sitting with her friends.

Her hair was tied into a half ponytail with a ribbon on it. She smiled as soon as Kai approached her. "Listen umm" He scratched the back of his neck, all of us facepalmed at the scene. "Yeah Kai ?" She stood up and flashed her signature cute smile. Kai swooned and almost looked like he was gonna melt. "I-erm..." He hesitated. "YOU CAN DO IT !" I used my hands as a megaphone then in a flash, he got a boost of confidence. "I like you alot Lili, can we go out sometime ?" He asked as he held out his hand. Lili looked shocked then looked at her friends then back at him.

All of her friends giggled in delight and nodded. "I would love that Kai" She said and Kai jumped in glee and hugged Lili. As they hugged, I heard my heart shatter like a glass hitting the cold hard floor. "You okay ?" Jake patted my back. I can only nod, no words came out of my mouth. Kai came back and I heaved a shaky sigh. "Congrats man !" Ben fist bumped him. "Congratulations" I faked my smile. Kai looked so happy when she said yes, i don't want to ruin his day because of me. "Thanks guys" He sat down next to me again. I felt Lili's hot glare on me.

"I should be going" I said without looking at him. "Oh well alright then, talk to you later ?" He grabbed my arm and i looked at him. I nodded sheepishly and smiled again. "Bye guys" I waved as I headed off to Aria to tell her what happened.

-skip to a few months-

A few months had passed and Lili and Kai were an item. Ever since they went on their first date, it kicked off their relationship. I rarely hangout with them because Lili would always glare at me whenever Kai would get close to me. Kai noticed it and talked to me about it. I lied and told him I was a bit busy and stressed with school and he bought it anyways.

I was hanging out with them again and Lili was clinging on Kai, as always, "Hey Sasha, you alright ?" Ben asked as he sat beside me. I was looking at them being all lovey dovey with each other. "Yeah, i'm fine" I said as I gave him a smile. "Ya know, we've noticed something about you" Jake said as he sat beside me, making me feel a bit awkward. I kinda know where this conversation was heading.

"What do you guys mean ?" I asked as Edward sat on the floor in front of me. "You've always been faking your smile ever since Lili and Kai became a thing" He said as he looked at me sadly, Edward was the father figure of the group, he would always check on everybody and if one of us is not feeling well or something happened to them, he's always the first one to respond to it.

I opened my mouth to say something but closed it, there was no point in hiding it anymore. A tear slipped and landed on my hand. "I'm sorry" I bowed my head as the tears came crashing down. "Why do you do it ?" Jake asked as he soothed my back, Ben did the same thing. "I want him to feel like everything is fine so no conflict can become between us" I wiped the tears and looked up. "You could've tell him" Ben said and Edward agreed with him. "Tell him ?" I looked at the three of them.

"Tell him that I don't want him to confess, tell him to not do it, tell him to be mine instead" The tears wouldn't stop falling, the happy facade came off revealing this sad, messed up, broken girl underneath. "Sasha..." Kai said as I look infront of me, Lili was nowhere to be found. "I should go " I stood up and gathered my things sprawled on the table behind us. "Sasha wait" Kai stopped infront of me. "What ?" I said, looking straight into his eyes. "Do you hate me and Lili being together ?" He grabbed my hand but I pushed it away. "I don't hate it, I'm actually happy for you guys being together" I looked away from his eyes, it was starting to bore into mine.

"Sasha, you could've told me" He sighed. "Tell you my feelings ? that's absurd" I scoffed, wiping a stray tear. "I still care for you" He stepped forward. I stepped back. "Kai please, this" I emphasized my being and state. "you shouldn't be concerned about, i'm doing just fine" I said as I try to push pass him. "Crying isn't fine Sasha" He gripped my arm. "Let go of me Kai, don't make this situation worse than it already is" I bit my lip, trying to not cry once again.

He sighed, "Why didn't you tell me ? Just because I'm with somebody else doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore". "I don't like interfering into someone else's life when they already have someone else" I got out of his grasp. "Sasha please" He begged me to stay. Lili came up to us. "What's going on ?" She said as she once again hooked her arms with Kai. "I was just about to leave" I said, not making an eye contact with her.

"Oh alright then" She said plainly. She looked at Kai, "Let's go to the ramen shop, you said you wanted to go" She tugged at his arm. "Sure then" He said with a smile. I turn my heel and left. The scene hurt me too much. I couldn't bare seeing him, the love of my life, be in the arms of somebody else.

I can't do anything about it, I'll just smile it off and live on with this feeling

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hey there :)

sorry for not updating a bit early

but it's here

hahaha

sorry if its like a heart breaking one shot

that's what im kinda feeling right now

i wanted to release it all here

it calms me down at least

wweelll that's all for now

Shiro out