Not yours

Kihyun [CHAP 3]

"How the hell did i lose-" i was normally the one who always won. Especially against minhyuk.
"HAH, thought you'd always win, huh kihyun? Didn't think id use my power up at that moment did you?"
He said, looking happier than ever. Hadn't seen that in a while. Always fighting.
"You're using hacks i swear-"
"Well you have to buy me and ice-cream anyway now"
did i have small money? Didn't I only have bills?
"I never did even agreed to that"
Kihyun dont. Not now.
"Kihyun shut up and go buy me an icecrea-"
"IM NOT GONNA BUY YOU AN ICECREAM FOR GODS SAKE-"

I did it again.
Why. Why do i have to have this at these moments.
Yoo kihyun , can't you control yourself for once? He's in front of you.
You broke his smile.
How did i even get to this.
I thought i coud control myself. Why did it come up again?
I dont want this.

"————SHOWNU!!!"
"Come on hurry up"
Since when was shownu here ? Minhyuk walked to him with his big smile that had come back. Shownu gave me a expression as he was saying 'its ok, dont worry' .

Can't you fucking learn from him for once?
Am i ever even gonna be the one to put such a smile on minhyuk's face?
For god sake kihyun, you're so useless.

My face heating up like it could burn anytime
So godamn weak. You get affected  by every little thing he does.
What are you, 5 years old?
You're obsessed with him, yet you cant do shit can you?

Footsteps coming towards my door.
"Were back!!!"
Minhyuk.
"You'd be surprised when you go outside- its so damn hot I'm sweating so much-"
Holding my breath. Trying not to make a sound, I could hear his soft voice calling out at me.

how long have i been hearing out for him? how long have i been looking out how him?

how long have i been trying to keep him in my life?

the room suddenly became silent and a few whispers behind my back and the sound of a door closing.
Suddenly a cold plastic touched my cheek. Water dripping down.
"It's gonna be alright" shownu said to me.
I looked up at him, who was looking down at me reassuringly.
As he walked away,i couldn't keep it in and just bursted into tears.
Was it the reassurance that was given that made me melt?

A child who fell will cry only if asked if they're ok, and will stand back up if not.
The feeling of someone being there.

For hours that felt like years i slept, thinking about the possibilities that could have happened
The things i could've done for him
It was with me for a long time.
Anxiety was always next to me and lived along with me.

I had always been afraid of sleeping.
Alone in the dark. Nothing there but your mind.

The blankness of my life.
The thoughts that he had.

It's not something to forget.
It exists and its existence will remain in time forever.
—————