A Sick Fairytale ∥ H.JS - Minho 【Stray Kids】

⒍ 「CUTS」

I crawled to my room that was just around the corner

I felt too weak to stand up

I pulled myself up my bed

And leaned against the wall

I touched my stomach and groaned

It hurts

A lot

I've been telling myself

I'll get used to the pain

But it's still the same

'What a sad life you have there,'

The voices began

Or more like

Me

Trying to talk myself down

'It's not going to get better,'

They continued

"But everything needs to pass at some point..."

I whispered to myself

Trying to stay positive

Lately I just want to be gone

No one cares

When I go online there are these posts about depression

About cutting

To be honest

It's a stupid concept

It doesn't make you feel better at all

I tried it

I felt that if I cut deeper and bigger

I might just die

That's a reassuring feeling honestly

So I took a razor from my desk

'Isn't it stupid? Small cuts won't kill you and with the razor it just hurts in the moment, but not later on. Don't. You're just doing it because of what people online say about it. It's stupid.'

That's what the voices say

They are right

It's stupid

But I still do it

I slowly brought the razor onto my wrist

Putting pressure onto it

One cut

Two cuts

Three cuts

They just hurt in the moment

They already don't hurt

Four cuts

It's annoying

The blood

Five cuts

It keeps coming out

Irritating

I was ready to make a sixth one

Till I heard my phone

A message

Who would even text me...?

I picked up my phone that I left next to me

'Hi,'

Is what the message read

It was from Jisung

Oh

I completely forgot about him

I put the razor down

And cleaned the cuts with a paper towel

There's still school tomorrow

I need to recover from this

I took a painkiller

And laid myself on my bed

And tried to fall asleep