Fracture

Part 24

                 

Arriving back to our cabin, black dots and swirls still danced in my vision as I desperately tried to rush inside. My mother woke in Jack's arms and looked to me. Her arms reached out to touch me and I tried reaching for her hand, but, before I could reach her, my body collapsed. Black surrounded me before I could stop it.

            The smell of grass wafted through the fields as white clouds danced over a blue sky. This dream was different, I don't know how I knew, but, I could feel the difference. This dream had already happened. I look around to take in my surroundings before turning to the familiar park.

There, a 5-year-old Sarah swung, playing with a little boy with dark green eyes. His smile was full of innocence and bliss, his lips curled to a pout, and his smile wider than the sky. He pushed her and giggled softly.

            "Can I have a turn?" He asked, flashing that bright smile.

            "Sure, wanna push?" I asked, my toothless grin shining. He nodded before hopping on the leather seat, worn from sun and weather.

            "Sarah, will we be friends forever?" His little voice asked.

            "Well, our moms are friends, so, probably. I mean, if you wanna be my friend." My shyness always got the best of me, even then.

            "I think I wanna marry you someday." He smiled, pressing a soft kiss to my little cheek.

            "I think I'd like that, James." Little Sarah smiled before pulling back on the swing.

            I woke to Lex stroking my hair and kissing my cheek, his hands gripping my hip tightly, pulling me closer. He was sleeping. His grip tightened even more as I wiggled out of his arms and walked to the kitchen, my mom sitting at the table, basking in the glow of the firelight.

            "How are you feeling?" She asked. Usually this would be a simple answer, but, anymore, this is such a loaded question. So, I ignored it.

            "Why didn't you tell me I knew James?" My voice crackled, tears threatening to burn their way into my vision.

            "Because I wanted your decision to be based on what you wanted, not what you knew." She replied.

            "He proposed when we were kids, you know? I was 5. I accepted." I smile, clutching to the memory of innocence rather than corruption. This is how I will choose to remember him.

            "You know, for the first time in years, I dreamt of a future where you weren't dead." She offered a half smile.

            "That was my first dream that was a memory." I smiled. "Maybe it's a sign."

            "You're going to be an incredible mother." She looked at me and smiled, placing her hand on mine. "Lex is a good choice. Your daughter will be beautiful."

            "You saw her?" I wiped the tears freely falling.

            "I did. She's perfect." She smiled brightly.

            "Am I?" My hand clutched my stomach.

            "You are." She placed her hands over mine.

            "Damn, I'm good." Josiah joked, walking into the room.

            "Don't let Lex hear you say that- I'm fairly certain he's not too keen on sharing." I laughed.

            "I think you're right." Lex's voice cut through our banter. "So we're-"

            "I guess so." His hands lifted me from under my shoulders and scooped me into his arms- pulling me so tightly I thought we'd melt into a single body. "Mom says it's a girl."

            "A girl? Like a tiny Sarah?" He asked. I nodded. "Perfect, two women who won't fucking listen to me."