Enamoured

Original Edition: Epilogue

"Only you could say that and not having your ass hit by the lightning."

"I think I might've accidentally found a way to resurrect Vladimir."

HERE I WAS, SITTING ON the throne I didn't want. The throne I'd never imagined would be mine. Everyone could say that I had everything. A power to rule a worldwide race and an eternal life to live. Other than that, my father Lord Hades had told me that he'd shared some of his power, a little amount, to me when I'd been resurrected to this world to protect me. I could summon fire out of thin air, that was the real reason I could produce fire for the campfire that night and protect myself from being captured by the faction in the woods. That fire was straight from hell, one that I'd summoned unconsciously.

With everything I had, I should be grateful. Adrian had called me 'Super Queen' but I didn't feel super at all. Honestly, I felt so empty inside because he was not here. I felt so empty that it took everything in me to do a simple task like breathing. It felt like there was nothing in my chests but emptiness. The only proof that I still had a heart was because it was bleeding, constantly aching.

Forever seemed lonely without him. How could I live forever when I could hardly survive a day? The only thing that motivated me to open my eyes in the morning, forced me to eat my meals, and basically kept me going was the growing baby inside my womb. She was the only reason I lived. Without her, I'd rather die. Without her, there was no point for me to continue living this hollowed life.

I never knew that life could be so empty without someone. What Edna St. Vincent Millay said was right, 'where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.' She was goddamn right.

My gaze dropped on my hands resting on my lap. I focused my energy on one palm and summoned the fire from hell. These days I learned how to control them, it was difficult but I made some improvements. Putting more focus on the palm of my hand, I made the fire dancing like the dragon in Chinatown during the Chinese New Year Festival.

Knowing that I had this power, I couldn't help but feel a tremendous regret. I could've saved him if I'd stayed.

Why did I leave him there? Why didn't I stay? Why? Stupid Avery!

I shook my head, preventing those guilt and regret from growing bigger because I knew if I let them, they'd suffocate me, engulfing me in whole. Right now, I couldn't let that happen, not when I had a child with me whose life depended on me.

It's not your fault. I made you leave.

I took a deep calming breath as Vlad's voice replayed in my head.

It's fate and it's done. There's no point of regretting it now, Avy.

He was right. Just like always. There was no point in regretting what was done. I should focus on what was in front of me.

'Don't worry, love. You're strong. I know you can do this. Tell our child how much I love him. If he's a boy, tell him to be a gentleman, to always treat girls right. But if he's a girl, tell her that boys don't have cooties.'

I think it's better to tell her that they do.'

'Well, I trust you.' I remembered him smiling. The kind of smile that could always calm me down. 'I'll agree and second whatever you tell her.'

I smiled, remembering our last conversation. I'd replayed it more than a hundred times inside my head. Not because I was afraid I'd forget him, it was because I missed him terribly. I replayed the moments we'd spent together over and over again, engraving them all in my heart. Those were the ones keeping me warm at night.