Humesha | ✔️

Chapter 13

M A N I K

"Not everyone despises love like me. There are some who fall in love with the idea of love and it amuses me. How can someone be so energetic and selfless all the time to keep the one you love before yourself? Love is a big responsibility, a big commitment and if you can't love someone the way you are supposed to, why give false hopes? Why make fake promises? Why make people unhappy? Why break them? Why stain a pure thing called love?,"  I was answered by dead pan silence.

"I know I am selfish, very selfish. I know I love only myself. I don't have any humanity for the world around me, leave love alone, maybe because I never got the reason to fall in love with anyone or anything except myself, my best friend, and my sister... and you. And if I don't love the world, why should I pretend to love it? I don't like this world, and that's what I show. I don't know how to be fake, and so I ain't. I hate the world, and that's what I show.", there was only silence around me, and sometimes it felt nice to be away from all the noises of the world, and talk to the silence that talks back to me.

"and then the world says this is my problem. I don't want to love the world, so I don't love it, and that's not my problem, right? I'm happy in my hatred, and they don't know how to appreciate that. So all they can do is term me as a monster," I dry smiled, folding my feet more to myself.

"But Dad, you know I'm not a monster, isn't it? I'm just tired, very tired. I don't want to fight the world anymore, but how can I defeat the monsters around me without myself becoming one? So let my heart be just a secret between you and me, okay?", I smiled a bit genuinely, rubbing off the dust from my father's grave. This is his home, and they keepers didn't even manage to keep my father's bed clean despite of the bundle of notes I pay them every month.

Placing his favourite white tulips beside his epitome, I heavy sighed. I miss him so much. Have you ever felt homesick for a person? I feel that for him, every day, every night, every time. Life was so much better when he was around, and maybe my father was the only person who actually loved me.

"Dad, I know you know everything, you're probably smirking in heaven with a cigar in your hand looking at how worked up your son is after you, but come on old man, I know you miss me just as much as I miss you. But the real part is, I don't really miss you these days though you always are in my heart. I've been so busy recently, all thanks to princess-... I mean Nandini Murthy. She's a nice girl by heart, and she makes my heart a little less heavy towards the world," I smiled.

"But alas, just like every wind of my life, she too had her time. She came, she messed up herself with me how much she could, and now it's time for her to leave. And not that I want to stop her. She's probably going to hate me for long for killing her 'best friend'," I dried a laugh quoting the last words, rubbing my cheek where she slapped me a few hours ago.

"She's innocent, probably thinking she can bring a few changes in my life. But little does she know, there can be no waterfalls in a dark valley and no rainbows on a stormy sky," I sighed. "And I think keeping her away is the best thing for you as well, because the longer she stays with me, the more busier I am, helping her with all the trouble she invites for herself which means lesser time for my dark life and to miss you. So you know-.....".

My talk to my dead father's grave was stopped by a meak voice behind me, "excuse me sir?", I turned behind to see the guardian of the graveyard standing with a torch in his hand.