Just.. Poetry.

Feels

I can't keep coming with commitment if you won't communicate with me chatting about honesty, integrity, and what you said to me -
I think back on a thought i had when you teach or taught me a lesson that I already knew way back.
I should've never showed my all now my body shivers and shakes in my shoes like I wanna chase but yet I'm shameless so sure because I already got shot by a sharp bullet through my heart.
Now my heart weaves & is crushed, infuriated full of anxiety and curiously
I lost all my trust , tough times through thick & thin .
I said crystal clear, " courtesy to you, my correction to my wrong.
A blind one, thanks for the bullet.
My pet peeve I threw punches because you never really got me.
Now you walking all smooth and smiling like it's sunny with no sympathy, & I'm stuck on stupidity."
My consciousness continues to confuse me counting the days i tried loosing my conscious
Following the feeling that flows in my body
Infuriated, infatuated, inconsiderate inconsistencies.
My mentality makes my matters more vulnerable than anything
My pupils shrink, i get goosebumps from unexplainable feelings...
Hypothetically speaking if i was to have an element
Controversy would be my strongest
I'm mostly careless about viability & other matters
My intellectual motivation is to let things go and accept how the way shit is
I write poems to express what's happening to me mentally & physically.
And that's how my flaws were flowing so elegantly
I like to elaborate to myself
I never pour my heart out, I'm like a book nobody reads on a shelf
I'm friends with brick walls
And i walk down a long dark hall
Getting away from the darkness
The more i walk the harder it gets
Pessimism you say?
Pessimism isn't the word to even use to describe this pain.
Misery isn't the right word to explain why I'm so sane
I'm not upset, but I'm also not happy.
Apathy is more like me.
Only a few things can get to me.