Doing it Over

Two Weeks Later: I'll Protect You

    They were running towards him, getting closer and closer. Their swords held high, ready to strike. Arthur shook Uther’s arm, begging him to get up. But he wouldn’t. Uther’s eyes stared back at him, wide and unseeing.

    Arthur awoke and sat bolt upright in his bed, shaking violently. He climbed out of his bed and hurried over to his door. With tears streaming down his cheeks, he pulled open his door to find… no one. Where were the guards? Arthur walked slowly out of his room, trying to be silent and hold back his tears. His fathers chambers were only a couple halls down, surely he could get there, right? Arthur walked slowly down the hall, looking over his shoulder every now and then. Suddenly, there was a sound behind him and Arthur jumped, running down the hall as fast as he could. He collided with something and fell backwards; looking up he saw Sir Leon looking down at him in surprise.

    “Prince Arthur? What are you doing out here right now?” Sir Leon asked, helping the young prince back to his feet.

    “I… I… I was… look… looking for my daddy,” Arthur said, finally breaking down and crying.

    “Did something scare you?” Sir Leon asked, bending down so he was Arthur’s level as Arthur nodded.

    “Alright, come on then,” Sir Leon took the young prince’s hand and led him down the hall. He took a deep breathe and then knocked on the heavy wooden door. It was quiet for a moment before the door opened and Uther stood there, looking very displeased at being woken up so early.

    “What is the meaning of this?” Uther asked Sir Leon.

    “Sorry sire,” Sir Leon said, “But the young prince got lost on his way to find you.” Uther looked down at the mention of Arthur and he looked surprised to see his son standing there.

    “Arthur? What happened?” Uther asked, wondering why his son was looking for him in the dark hours of the morning. Arthur, who had been doing his best to act as proper as possible in front of his father, despite the timing, wasn’t able to stop himself from bursting into tears again as soon as his father spoke to him.

    “Arthur,” Uther sighed and bent down to Arthur’s eye level. He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and pulled his son over to him. Arthur immediately wrapped his small arms around his father’s neck.

    “What happened?” Uther asked Sir Leon as he stood up, rubbing the small boy’s back as he tried to get him to calm down.

    “I’m not entirely sure sire. There was a disturbance outside and I was just coming back from investigating it with some of the guards when he ran down the hall straight into me. He said he heard something and I think it must’ve been the guards on their way back from patrol.”

    “I… I… had… a, a nightmare,” Arthur said in between his sobs, “and then I got lost.” He buried his face in Uther’s shoulder again and Uther sighed.

    “Alright, thank you Sir Leon, I’ll handle this now,” the king said and Sir Leon bowed his head.

    “Of course sire, I shall inform the guards he is with you,” Sir Leon told him, looking shocked at being thanked. Sir Leon walked down the hall, away from the King’s Chambers, as Uther closed the door and waked over to a chair. He sat down, but Arthur didn’t move and Uther ran his hand up and down his son’s back. Arthur eventually shifted and moved his arms from around Uther’s neck to the front f his shirt. His small hands grabbed the material and Arthur could hear his father’s heartbeat from where his head lay, resting on Uther’s chest.

    “I’m sorry,” Arthur mumbled and the king shushed him.

    “Hush now, don’t apologize,” Uther wasn’t entirely sure of what to say. It had been a long time since he’d had to chase away Arthur’s nightmares and even when Arthur was a little boy there had only been a couple. At least, he thought there had only been a couple.

    “But, I thought you said it wasn’t okay to be scared. You said I had to be brave and that I couldn’t let people know I was afraid,” Arthur said quietly.

    “I told you that a long time ago, didn’t I?” Uther asked, trying to remember when he’d said those words.

    “Yeah,” Arthur said, “and I didn’t wanna be scared but I couldn’t help it.” His voice shook and Uther could tell he was close to crying again. Thinking about what Gaius had said about this being a second chance for the things that mattered, Uther spoke as a father to his son rather than as a king to a prince.

    “I think that on that account,” he took a deep breathe, “I was wrong.” Arthur looked up at him in amazement; he had never heard his father say he was wrong before.

    “It is okay to be scared, so long as we face our fears and don’t let them control us. You’re allowed to be scared Arthur, but know that I will always protect you and keep you from harm. I will never let anything bad happen to you.”

    “But what if you’re not there?” Arthur asked, remembering the blank, unseeing look on his father’s face in his dream, “What if something bad happens to you and you go away?”

    “Is that what your dream was about?” Uther asked.

    “Yeah,” Arthur said quietly, “You were lying on the ground and you wouldn’t wake up no matter what I did and there was a man and he was gonna attack me and I was scared but you wouldn’t wake up!” Arthur voice gradually rose as he spoke and by the time he was finished, tears were streaming down his face again.

    “Oh Arthur,” Uther sighed. He wrapped his arms tightly around his only son as he tried to get him to stop shaking.

    “I’m not going anywhere, you understand? I’m not going to leave you; I’m going to keep you safe.”

    “But what if you can’t?” Arthur asked and Uther realized he would have to try something else.

    “Arthur, will there come a time when I’m not around anymore? Yes, eventually, there will be. But,” he said quickly at the stricken look on the prince’s face, “That time will not be now, nor will it be for as long as you need me. I will always keep you safe; and if I’m not there and something happens, there are people who will. Gaius, Sir Leon, the rest of the knights, even your servant Merlin and the maid Gwen. They would all do whatever it takes to protect you, the same way I would, understand?” Arthur nodded and buried his face in his father’s shirt.

    “Tired?” Uther asked and Arthur nodded, “Sleep my son, I promise I’ll keep you safe.” Arthur fell asleep, feeling safe in his father’s arms, but Uther didn’t move. Perhaps Gaius was right, maybe he had been too strict with Arthur when he was a boy. Maybe the little things really did matter. He wasn’t good with emotions but if it made Arthur happy and it helped him then he would do whatever it took to try. They stayed like that for the rest of the night. Uther eventually fell asleep, holding and protecting his son.