To The One that I Loved First

To the one that I loved first,

Know that I have watched you laugh and know your smile by heart. And when you close your eyes, trying to rid yourself of the bittersweet memories - know that I can see for the both of us. And the future that I see is beautiful, sweet and simple. A brief symphonic moment, where the moon as our witness - gazes down and has no other choice but to declare to the whole world that our love has been written in the stars.

And as you open your eyes and grimace at the harsh reality of life, understand that I hear your whispers - the ones you murmur to yourself whenever nobody's listening. But I am here, I listen.

Then as you sit, surrounded by your crowd. I hope you that you can hear the sound of my heart as it breaks each time she reaches up and pulls you close - close enough to still my breath and salt my wounds.

Though I've seen so little come yet so many go, I hope that you never get to feel just how bad it hurts to see you cry when nobody else is around. My fingers ache to reach out and give the comfort that you seek, but I have seen too many of your tears to know that you don't like to talk about feelings - but will instead wonder off into night, alone and will come back without so much as a reason why.

I wish I could be brave enough for us, brave enough to tell you that you're everything. That without you the world crumble and fall without the meaning of life.

You see, I don't get how you don't notice the gleeful stares whenever you're in a room or how people automatically lights up at the sound of your voice. In some ways, I am envious, scared that they see what I see in you.

A beautiful soul who would risk getting a ticket just to help an old lady cross the street. A wingless angel who would do anything just to shelter his sister from the reality of a broken home. A kind hearted human being, who would waste his nights sitting on the porch with me until morning light, whenever things aren't so good at home.

You may not know it now but I have hope that you feel it soon.

So to person that will love you next, know that you may love him now but I have loved him first and will love him last.