Suicide Story (Crush X Reader)

Chapter 2

The trip there was a long and quiet one. We all just sat there. Silence. My mom tried starting conversations with my father and myself but no one replied to her. I stared out the window, expressionless.

It wasn't like this before. My first day of school was supposed to be a happy and joyful one. I was going into fifth grade since I had been home schooled. My parents thought it'd be best if my mom actually had a real job rather than teaching me since we had been running low on money. They decided to send me to school thinking it'd be amazing for me. I wasn't great at making friends. I always felt as though everyone was against me the moment I walked into school. I had short black hair almost in the shape of a pixie cut. My head hung high on the first day of school though. I was excited not expecting something bad to happen. When I walked into my home room all eyes were on me for a few seconds whispers were spread I could hear the hate escaping their mouths. And my head that I once held high suddenly dropped. I had wished that I was invisible as I slouched in my seat. No one asked for my name except for the teacher who called me during attendance and welcomed me.

The first few weeks were okay till kids started thinking it was okay to accidentally run into me. Whenever I walked into a room it would go quiet followed by whispers then giggles. During lunch I ate in the library alone while reading a few books to pass the time. During recess the children were required to go out side so I obeyed but that's when things would get bad. That was their chance to push me around and call me names while the teachers payed no attention. This didn't happen till a few months in and it happened on a daily. I'd go home with cuts and bruises just to tell my parents that I was clumsy or I tripped while I was skipping rope. Eventually my parents found out when I came home with bruises all over my body and face from being pushed to the ground and kicked until I couldn't move or even breathe. My parents immediately contacted the school but the kids found out. They started calling me terrible names. "Snitch" "Tattletale" "Baby" "Dumb". While those names don't seem harsh, they were in fifth grade.

When the principal refused to do anything and said my parents were but overreacting and that their school was 100% bully free. My parents lost it. Once the year finished we picked up and moved right away.

The trip to our second home was joyous for us everyone was glad to leave and that I was going to a new school that we thought was going to get better. But, as the years went by school kept getting worse and worse. I was shoved in the halls in sixth grade. We moved. In seventh grade they shoved my books out of my hands and tripped me whenever they walked past me in the halls. We moved. In eighth grade they forced me into lockers and sometimes even locked them. We moved. Grade nine I got food thrown at me during lunch every day. We moved. Grade 10 I was pushed down the stairs. We moved. Grade 11... they beat me with baseball bats outside of school and once they even stabbed me... I was lucky to survive according to my parents. I just wanted to die.

Every move or family grew further and further apart. And it was all my fault. I went into self harm in eighth grade. I had nearly 17 suicide attempts. I couldn't even kill myself right. Scars could be found all over my body. Whether they were from the bullied or from myself. Cuts were all up my arms and legs. Some were even so deep my parents rushed me to the hospital for stitches. I went to 11 different mental health institutions and none of them were able to help me.

"She's helpless..."
"Let her go..."
"She doesn't want to be helped..."
"She likes the attention..."
"We tried everything..."

...

"Give up on her..."