Raising Laila

Chapter 22 - 'Mine'

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nobody ever told me that grief felt so much like fear 

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February 27, 2018: 9.34am. 

Now being four days into the tour the girls and the rest of the team were settling very quickly back into the tour life, a new venue, sound check, catering lunch, warming up and a show in the evening. Everybody except Laila. 

Who was proving to be a little difficult. 

Jade knew it was overwhelming for her, the new people, places, just everything was a lot for a six year old, so she was grateful that apart from the first nights meltdown there hadn't been anymore. 

Jade couldn't have asked for anybody to be nicer to Laila than they had been, they were so accommodating, patient and generous, doing everything they could to make it easier for Jade, but Jade knew it was all going too smoothly. And there was too many little hints that something was going to happen for everything to remain smooth. 

The first thing happened at breakfast this morning. Having arrived at their destination for the day much earlier than normal, the girls management had arranged for them to have breakfast at a local hotel before travelling a further thirty minutes to the actual show venue.

"No Jade! Sit here!" Laila stated pointing towards the seat next to her and only her since it was the end of the table as opposed to the chair that Jade headed for between Laila and Jesy. 

Jade frowned looking between Jesy and Laila. 

"It's okay here though, I'm still next to you," Jade reasoned standing next to the original chair she planned to sit in, "Why don't I just sit here?" 

Laila didn't respond and instead crossed her arms over her chest and took an angry sip of her orange juice. Jesy shot her a confused look from the chair next to her but Jade only shrugged, rolled her eyes and carried on with ordering her and Laila's breakfasts and hoped that was the end of Laila's attitude for the day. But something told her it wasn't going to be. 

February 27, 2018: 1.54pm. 

The next incident was just before the girls were going through to the stage for their sound check, as usual the four girls were all together messing about and laughing. They had tried multiple times throughout the course of the morning to include Laila in whatever they were doing, Perrie had offered to take her down to catering, Jesy tried to join in her game with her two baby dolls and a few of the dancers tried to get her to join in with their warm up but all three times they were ignored and Jade found herself whispering stern words in Laila's ear about joining in and being polite but it clearly hadn't worked as unless Jade was offering to do something with the tiny six year old the answer was always no. 

So as the girls walked through the mazes of corridors towards the stage Laila sulked behind them her arms crossed over her chest, mumbling to herself. 

"Laila, come on sweetheart. Stop being silly today and come and walk with us," Jade tried yet again. 

"No, I not gonna walk with them... I wanna walk with you!" She mumbled barely looking up from where her eyes were trained against the floor. 

Jade sighed and rolled her eyes as she slowed down from the girls and stepped next to Laila. "If you don't stop this ridiculous behaviour and start being nice to everybody then you and me are going to have to have a serious chat later," Jade said sternly bending down to Laila's ear and holding her hand. 

"'Kay," Laila mumbled appearing to not care, when really she cared a whole lot more than she was letting on. She truthfully cared more than she had ever cared about anything (at least that was what she thought at six years old) all she wanted was Jade. And just Jade. She was tired of all of these people coming in and out when she just wanted her sister. All to herself.