All I want is to love- Kian Lawley fanfic

Chapter 28: Fear

*kian pov*

Today's the day we leave, pack up our belonging and head back home. Go back to regular life. We load up the car and begin our drive home, dropping Sam off on the way. Courtney was reading and I was just in the zone of driving. The radio was on but I wasn't listening I felt deep in thought.

I feel like Courtney and I are in a good place.. But at the same time I feel like the next couple months we are gonna grow apart. It's scary, but it happens. That fight we had really made me realize how fragile relationships actually are. I've in a way, watched Ava and Courtney brake apart and us have some issues ourselves.

I feel like Courtney is still afraid of me. Or like she is keeping stuff from me. Nothing bad, just things she wants to say but doesn't. Like she's keeping her guard up. I just wish I knew why so I could fix it.

I want to bring it up, but now I'm scared that it will hurt us or I've got it all wrong.

I don't want to ruin us.

After we sorted our belongings I went home and unpacked my things, surprisingly. And just was acted like a lazy bum. I hung around the other guys and did the stupid stuff we normally do.

*Courtney pov*

I've had a good time with kian over the past week and everything is great. I just feel like there's a guard between us right now. I think it's mostly me.

My past relationships I fell so hard and nobody caught me, just left me there to suffer. Dropping our relationship like it really meant nothing. It it happened after a few months.

Kian and I are at that stage now, that it's been a couple months and frankly my guard is up because I'm scared it will happen again. I don't want fresh wounds. I don't want to be hurt again.It's like I'm waiting for it to happen.I'm waiting for him to just text me one day and say it's over, or for me to come to his house and catch him with another girl. And it's so terrible to think that way like I don't trust him.

It's hard to trust after being shattered so many times.

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Here's the thing. I need help. If you like this story and want it to continue I need some help moving forward. So don't be shy, even if you think your idea is stupid I'll take anything into consideration! Thank you and anything is very appreciated!(: