All I want is to love- Kian Lawley fanfic

Chapter1:The brake up

Love is an unfair game. I learned that once cameron screwed me over after I thought we would last. That heartless little .. AGGGHH.

I now am sitting on my bed on my MacBook. Not crying,just blankly looking at the screen. This was not the scene a few days ago.

Just a last Sunday,I woke up in Cameron's bed with my head on his bare chest. Snuggling up in his bed for hours. Softly talking and such.

Was that the day he lost feelings and was pretending to love me? I won't ever know. After telling him such personal things he would go and drop his feelings for me just like that?

On that following Tuesday I found out. I found out the worst way possible. In front of a bunch of people. Not from him but from his new girlfriend.

You heard right.

I went into school after noticing Cameron not acting very loving the night before. I just assumed he was having family problems that he didn't really want to share. Which I understand more than you may think. Since a lot of the school knew we were dating and we were the cutest couple ever;) when something dramatic happens everyone knows. Something's even before me.
I walked through the front door.Many eyes looking at me which was strange. Was there something on my face? Did I sit on something on my bus? Why was everyone staring at me? I didn't see cameron where he usually is waiting for me. I walked down the hall looking for him and a few people who were kinda friends but weren't close said "I'm really sorry love." That was weird. They kept walking so I didn't question it. Some girl came up to me and said the words that I will forever remember "Darling it's over. He doesn't love you like he loves me. He doesn't think of you as highly as me."

"What are you talking about and who are you?" I say my voice shaking. "I'm Cameron's new princess. If you wanna ask him yourself he's at the top of the stair case by room 420" she said smirking.
My heart is pounding out of my chest and I push passed her and start my long journey across the school and up the stairs. Tears forming and I try to blink back. I get to the top of the stairs. I see him. He sees me. He backs up. "Courtney I didn't want you to find out this way."he stuttered out I was staring into his eyes so he could see the hurt in my eyes. Before I could say anything I noticed a crowd forming behind me and kinda all around. I managed to spill my heart out in front of at those people.
"You heartless, little, bastard." I manage to say stepping forward. "After all that I've shared with you, after all that we've been through. You don't have the decency to brake up with me before asking another girl out. I find out from her that she's your princess and that I'm not. That you don't love me. That I'm not as good as her. Why couldn't you have broke up with me when the feelings faded? Why did you have to hurt me more than you needed to? I won't ever know. Because I'm never going to forgive you. You're a backstabber." I say pretty loudly and proud. I look around at all the people "Ladies watch out I wouldn't want this to happen to you" I say. I realize tears are freely falling down my face now and I look back at Cameron and say "One day I'll realize you're not worth my tears."

"Courtney I'm sorry..." Cameron says. "Don't take to me. Talk to someone who can bare to look at you without crying." I say walking out of the crowd going toward the nearest bathroom.

I handled that like a badass.

I sorta bawl my eyes out in the bathroom. My phone blowing up bug not wanting to look at it. I pull myself together. Wipe my face and clean up my ruined makeup.

As if on cue my best friend Ava walks in, takes one look at me and pulls me into hug and I start crying again she try's to calm me down but just holds my tight. And rubs my back.

After about 10 minutes the 1st period bell rings. We break out hug and I fix myself up again. Me and Ava walk to first period together. I go about my day waiting for it to be over. I get my work done and try not to be on my phone. Knowing that all I'm getting is pity on social media as well as texts. In between 6th and 7th period I call my grandma and ask her for a ride home and she says she would.

I love my grandma. She's my mother figure in my life. I live with her and my mom. But my mom is an alcoholic and I don't really want much to do with her. When she drinks she thinks she rules everything. Everything goes her way and she can never do anything wrong. She has a job but she uses her money for alcohol. Fortunately my grandma is still fairly young and has a good retirement. She has a little part time job to help pay for things. She has a nice house and helps me with what I need. My grandpa died many years ago like when I was 11 so he left plenty of money for her.

That Tuesday was one of the worst days of my life. But somehow I made it better by calling out cameron in front of a bunch of people. Which I feel is wrong but what he did was worst. My grandma somehow knew kinda what happened after school and drive me straight to the ice cream shop. I bet Ava called her. That's why she's my best friend.

When we got home I finally went through my phone and replied to pity with a simple thank you or I'm fine. I changed Cameron's contact to "Backstabber" and that made me laugh.

My mom got home from work and with out a word she got a soda and a bag of chips and went to her room and slammed the door. Usual.

After a few days of being upset and sad and a few crying fests I was okay. I did things that made me happy. I went shopping with Ava. I went for long walks with Ava and her dog. I spent time with my grandma and had some baking lessons from her. She taught me and Ava how to make pumpkin pie and how to make a simple lemon cake. As well as carrot cake.
I became friends with Ava through my grandma. My grandmas best friend Mary is Ava's grandma. And when we were in middle school they had us meet. And we clicked that very day being best friends since. I'm thankful for many things but one of them was having met Ava that day. Ava has been there through it all. The boys, my dad leaving, my mom having her issues. I love her like a sister.

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First chapter! Yay I'm glad I started this new one! I like it a lot better. It's more personal. Thank you for reading!