Buffy No More: The Illusion

Part 1

At the break of dawn, I watched Dawn, the overworked housewife, picking up the toys off her lawn. She wanted to get to work on time, but those stupid toys out front always prevented her from doing so. It was too bad, the sad life she was living was because of her pathetic husband, Xander, who did nothing but drink beer and play video games. He never tended to their young daughters or mowed the lawn. Nope, he lugged his tall lump of flesh into the one-story home every evening delegating everything for Dawn to do. If she was the daring-type she would have cheated on him, nothing made a man more pissed then if he found his woman in bed with another man. If not that, she would've at least grown the balls to kick him in the balls, it's not like he didn't deserve it. But the thing was all that stuff wasn't a Dawn Summers thing to do, it was a Faith Lehane thing to do. Oh, and by the way I'm Faith Lehane or at least I use to be Faith Lehane. You won't get that little remark until later so it's best that you hold out till the end.

That morning, I woke-up like every morning that passed year from a recurring nightmare about the Forest-Alley. After I'd kick myself awake I would greet my mischievous neighborhood through the crack of my curtain. I would watch Dawn Summers in the morning the same way she would watch me later that night on her lawn (because we were the noisiest town ever born).

Always, around eight or so Dawn would lay out her blanket on the grass and pretend to be eying the stars when in reality she would be eavesdropping on William and I's daily throw down. Listening in, Dawn wouldn't feel the normal sympathy for my horrific marriage, but envy the passionate fights William and I had because they would always end in bed. The cute twenty-two year old medical admin yearned for this passion because she knew that she would never exhume anything close to that from Xander. Depressing I suppose, but only if she knew the truth. I would have given anything to be Dawn Summers and not have blood on my hands, to not worry about anything except kids, school and... coupons... I guess... I suppose. If she knew the deep loads of crap I was in she would never lay her blanket on her lawn to watch me ever again.

As I continued to peer out that transparent glass, I thanked God that William and I were able to retake-up residency in the small-town known as Sunnydale. We never really had to fake it because everyone there was (conveniently) as fake as we were.

I left the window when I saw Dawn pull off in her dented blue minivan. I wondered how I would spend this Friday. William was off to 'work,' and when I said 'work' I meant screwing around with some common whore. Mad? Not really, at least that's what I told myself. The only question I had was who was the trick this time? she must have been great to keep him out all night. Every time I thought of it I would instinctively grab the orange juice and vodka, mix them together, and call it breakfast.

I went out by the porch that Friday morning desperate to have a smoke with my alcohol, but then I thought that would give the little detective across the street another reason to call me completely insane. He already thought William and I did those crimes aka murders in Topeka. Detective Crate was slowly turning the whole town against us so smoking at seven in the morning could be the little thing that confirmed his suspicion. So I ruled out cigarettes and just sat out on the porch steps of my house drinking my OJ and alcohol. It was in this moment of meditation gazing on the perfected outside of Sunnydale I questioned my existence. I guess the real reason I moved back was because I felt I needed to get in touch with me again. Because sometimes I swore my nightmares were more real than my actual life.

Who am I?

I always questioned. Was I the bad girl with no conscience like everyone deemed it or was I something more? I always had the feeling I was something more... but hey, doesn't everyone.

My thoughts became distracted when Dawn's van rolled back into the driveway. Did she forget her notebook again? Dang, she always forgets her notebook? Just as I predicted, I saw Dawn zoom into her house and zoom right back out. She threw the book in the passenger's seat then stopped all motion once she saw me.