Broken

Jenna

Days went zooming by ever since I last spoke to Damon, well yelled at Damon. Today was the day for Prom and Harry was going to pick me up at 5 and be my escort to the last party of my senior year. I intend to make it memorable for both me and Harry. I don't want Harry to remember his last Prom as a total failure just because his date was bummed about some other guy then him. I don't want to be selfish when it comes to Harry. He is just too....nice. It took me 4 years to figure it out and I feel horrible about putting him down every single time but I found it sweet that he has been holding on to his little crush on me for so long. I want tonight to be an unforgettable night for him and am so destined to do so. I am going to forget about past and focus on present because it is what's important to me right now. Past will only make me regret stuff and make me feel miserable. There was plenty of time for that after today. Ever since that one day I have gotten 61 missed calls from Damon and 27 text messages still unread. I don't care about what he has to say and I don't want a lame apology for what he did to me. I deserve the slightest bit of respect from him where he could just be honest with me. But he wasn't and honestly I feel as if all along I never knew Damon at all. That I faltered in knowing that one aspect of him which could make people feel this way. I left a piece of me at the school when I yelled at Damon and I myself, know for a fact that I'm not quite the same as I was before. He has come by to talk but I have had Jenna brush him away telling him now isn't exactly the right time. I didn't have to explain anything to Aunt Jenna because I think she already understood and she didn't ask any questions either, for which I am grateful. I know for a fact that if I see Damon again my heart would open up like a gate, letting him back into my life again just like that. I wasn't sure if Damon was coming tonight but I need to be strong and that is what I am going to be tonight.

I went to my closet and carefully pulled out my prom dress that I had picked up two days ago from a little cute prom shop in the middle of town. Small shop but beautiful dresses. I unzipped the cover that protected it from any stains and whatsoever and stared at it in awe. The beautiful silver dress was covered in bright color and rhinestones that rained down to the full purple skirt made of silk. It had a cut through the side revealing one of my legs whenever I took a step forward or backwards. This dress was perfect. I loved it. It's two straps were at the very end of my shoulder blades and I ran my hand along the silver, shimmery part of the top half of the dress, then made my way down all the way to my knees where the fabric then became a smooth silk. I gave my reflection the best smile I could offer, or at least the one that was most convincing. Today is supposed to be magical and the brightest smile will help enlighten it by so much.

I called for Jenna to come help me with my hair and sat down on a chair while she started to set up my curler and I started on my make-up. This silence couldn't stay for too long, I just knew it.

"I remember my last prom.. Boy will I remember that one.", her tone had kind of hinted in irony and I let out a faint laugh.

"Why? Was it not what you expected?"

"It went fine. Normal actually. The dancing, making out, romance, fun, drinking, until I slept with my date's best friend."

"You did what?! Slept with..., I couldn't help but bursting out laughing because I hadn't laughed for a while and it felt good., why not sleep with the actual date?"

"I was too drunk to nice. Thought they were the same person. I swear on it, same tux, hair, eyes, mouth, boxers."

I made a slight gagging sound and made her stop and held up a hand., "I can't believe you found the courage to tell me all this. Like who would have knew?"

"Well no matter how embarrassing, I wanted to give you something to laugh about tonight", her voice transitioned to a sincere tone and it was pitiful. She was talking about Damon and I knew she wanted me to feel alright, tell me it's okay and one night of happiness without him won't cost me any. My smile dropped and I tried not looking into her eyes and swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath and began working on my make up a lot more intently. I don't want her to feel bad for me. She shouldn't be the one.

"Elena you'll be alright. He's your best friend and maybe even more from looking at the way things are between you two right now but I just wanted you to know you're not alone and i'm always gonna be here to support you. Show the world how bright Elena Gilbert's smile can shine. They want to see your dancing eyes light up the room, not drown it in tears.", I wanted to tell her that I only cried once since everything that has happened and I have been through it all holding my head up high. The words got stuck in my throat and wouldn't come out and I sat there open mouthed while Jenna kissed the top of my head. It felt so right. I wanted her to hold me a while longer. Just so I can soak in the bit of love she left with me just now. I didn't know how much I needed someone to kiss me with love. A kiss that speaks that things were gonna be okay and safe and sound. That this person will be here when I'm feeling down. She would hold me embrace and protect me from what could hurt me. I closed my eyes at the touch of her lips against my hair, and her hair squeeze my shoulder. With that Aunt Jenna put down the curler, finishing my hair and walked out the door with just that. Having a little confidence in her walk. I flickered my eyes towards the mirror and sat up and lifted my chin up high. I swear when Jenna was just one step from stepping out of my bedroom she whispered something along the lines of, "you're the strongest person I have gotten to know". I blinked my eyes and at that moment a hot tear rushed it's way down my cheek. This was the first time I cried ever since. Not because of what Aunt Jenna said, because I wasn't strong. That's just a cover up. I'm broken, like a wounded dove who can never find the courage to fly.