For my sister's sake ( Larry stylinson )

chapter ten

i'm so sorry it took me so long

i was a busy , i mean it's summer

thanks for all your support , it's fun to writer but when alot are nagging me to write , it become a bit annoying

still when people ask me to upload while telling me what they liked and hated they give me idea which will push me to write

enjoy .

i laid on my bed , staring at the ceiling .

i can't believe what happened , he technically asked a girl to be his sex partner after our deal is over , it hurts , it hurts so much .

but at the same time , i have no right to be mad at him . Yes , what he did was inappopriate yet it was  a deal and it wasn't like i already have told him that i'm in love with him , right ?

it just hurt me so much to face the truth , that i wil never be with him.

i wanted to talk to him so badely but i believe it's not a good idea , even though he called so many times with so many different numbers after the incident and i didn't pick up the phone and finally turned it off , i'm not ready to hear his explanation which will probably do nothing but make me more miserable .

i was cut off my thought when my sister yelled , asking me to take a look , so i went downstairs

" yes , Daisy ? " i asked tired yet polit .

" boobear , you won't believe this , Harry Styles is in the car in front of our house " said my little sister  Daisy

oh shit i thought , Lottie should not see him otherwise it won't be a surprise  ; i have to figure out something to get him to leave , RIGHT NOW

" darling , i'm sure it's not him " i ansewered Daisy looking from the window " go to your room and don't tell the others "

" if it's not him , why should I not tell the others and go to my room ? " she wondered and i had to answer her a clever answer yet  i couldn't come up with one

" well , because he may be a serial killer , looking for little girls to kidnap , alright ? "

i could feel her tense up near me then ran to her room

i opened the house's door and made my way to his car , fuming

" what the hell you're doing here ? didn't i made it crystal clear i don't want to see you ever again .. well exepct for the birthday party that YOU are coming to ? " i almost yelled so i won't choke on the words

" please Lou , you have to  listen to me " he got out of the car and i could notice the guilt all over his pretty face , no lou that's not the perfect time to remaind your self how beautiful he is , you have to be tough !

" i don't have to .. have anything to do with you "i  said then turned around to get in the house " you hurt me so much Harry , for a moment i thought whatever the fuck we had was special ... i guess i was wrong , goodbye Harry "

" look " he put his hand on my shoulder " i'm sorry but you were going to leave me after saturday and i know that you're only doing this for your sister's sake but i like you Lou a lot , a little too much maybe and i hate it when people leave me and never look back , it always happens to me and i'm not ready to feel all that pain all over again so i thought by asking Adriana to remplace you even though i'm sure she's not any near as good as you but i couldn't bear the idea of spending the nights alone after you ,i wasn't even sure if you liked me or it was just a deal and i didn't want to risk people douting i'm gay and i'm bi ; i'm so sorry i'm ready to make it up to you if you want .... please just don't give up on me "

when he finished i heard the sobs in his voice so i turned around and he was crying , seeing that broke my heart even more , his eyes soon turned red and it took me all my force not to hug him tight and tell him everything is going to be alright and i won't let go of him .

as much as i sound mean and insensitive , i wanted him to feel what i felt

" alright , stop crying " i said calmly " we will talk more about it tomorrow , alright ? now go home have some sleep cause i'm too tired to discuss this " he nodded , god he looked so cute , his curls moving a bit ,

i smiled at him and he smiled back and got in the car while and got in the house .

none was watching from the window , good ,i went upstairs and closed my room's door after i got in , i threw my body on the bed and plugged my earphone to my ipod and drowned in the lyrics of The Fray - Never say never :

Some things we don't talk about

better do without

just hold a smile

we're falling in and out of love

the same damn problem

together all the while

you can never say never

why we don't know when

time and time again

younger now then we were before

don't let me go,

don't let me go,

don't let me go,

don't let me go,

don't let me go,

don't let me go

whenever i heard don't let me go i remembered Harry's word , i wonder if he really meant it

his voice sounded sincere yet i couldn't let myself trust him, what if he was playing with me ?

i haven't noticed when the song was over and someone was knocking mon the door

" can i come in ? " mum asked while knocking on the door

" sure " i replied

she came in then closed the door after her , sat on the bed

" so , that was the boy you've been seeing ? " she asked looking at me in the eyes so i lowered my  head , that means she was looking from the window what i haven't see her .

" yes " answered shortly

" isn't he by any chance Harry Styles from your sister's geant posters ? " she laughed

" yeah .... " i replied

" look boobear " her face turned serious " i don't know what kind of relationship you two share but it's clear he means a lot to you and what i saw earlier was a little fight that will be solved soon if you really like him  , people fight and make up" i nodded "  now get some sleep and you'll figure out a way , alright ? "

she kissed me on the forehead which made me feel like a child but i smiled .

as soon as she closed the door , my eyes became heavy but i was still thinking ; what was i supposed to do ? tell him how i feel or wait for him ?

no , i won't wait for happiness to come to me , because like it said " if you wait for something to come to you and spend so long dedicated to a singular idea, you may miss happiness when it actually passes by. The same if you're stuck with feeling sad, there's no chance to allow happiness in. Happiness may also come through enduring a lot of pain but the whole rejoicing of the strong instrumental at the end ensures that when 'she'll be home' it'll be wonderful and worthwhile "

i closed my eyes still thinking about a certain curly haired boy that i loved .

soo ?

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Love you xx