Sincerely, Your Best Friend

Not Ever.

To the Girl With the Golden Eyes,

Every day at school we sit next to each other at lunch at our own reserved table, and while I make offensive jokes you choke on your own saliva because you're laughing so hard. Your smile could brighten anyone's day and your dimples are like rays of sunshine when it's melancholy, I'm certain that if you tried you could win a beauty pageant. I remember when you were scared to laugh in front of me for fear that I wouldn't like your laugh; that I would tease you. Now, you gladly snort when the opportunity arises and clutch your stomach when a joke is too much to handle.

You talk to me on days when you're depressed and sorrowful, days when you're anxious and fearful, and days when you can't contain your excitement about a new My Little Pony season. You're one of the only few people I know who feels confident in herself- scratch that- you're the only person I know who's confident in their personality, looks, and intelligence. Granted, some days you are nervous about a tests or how the end of My Little Pony will turn out, but you always turn yourself around and plaster a smile on your face.

We're considered best friends from everyone. Our parents, our classmates, our teachers, our other friends, even one random Starbucks employee. I remember when we had waltzed into Starbucks wearing our sunglasses upside down and trying to speak while sticking our tongues out. "Can I hath a thinnamon dulche lathe with an ethra thot oth expretho?" you spat while holding out a ten dollar bill. "Uh.." he trailed off. "I don't... what?" he asked while adjusting his apron. Later, after we wrote on a piece what our order was, he started guffawing and said, "You guys are friendship goals." 

Friendship goals. Friends. I shouldn't be upset that I can't tell what I feel but I do. I mean, our friendship is a beautiful thing that lights up my every waking hour. You're the only reason I get up in the morning. But, if we could be something more... if I wasn't a girl.

A girl.

Maybe you'd see that we were meant to be. A match made in heaven so to speak. But since I'm a girl we cannot be. Since you're you, and I'm me, it cannot be. So, here I am. I've said all I could. But if I could just kiss you once. That's all I ask. 

If you're reading this, I want you to know, I love you and no matter what I will never ever leave you. Not in a thousand years. 

Not ever.