Good-bye // Phanfiction (One-shot)

Good-bye

Every night, it was the same. Drunk and depressed, desperate for love. Phil was asleep, he was always asleep. Why couldn't he wake up? It was 2am, I needed somebody. I could hear Phil's small snores and heavy breathing from the other room.

I told myself to stop, and took another swig of wine to make the feelings I have for Phil go away. He's supposed to be my best friend, my roommate. I couldn't let myself ruin everything.

The alcohol helps, I've found myself being drunk every night. Phil was sick of it, but I needed him.

I was standing up, vision blurred, head spinning. I wanted to tell Phil. I wanted to tell Phil how stupid he is for letting me love him. Stupid Phil. I was stumbling to his room, I couldn't stop myself.

"Phiiiiil." I call, banging on his door.

"Oh my god Dan. Not again. Please you need to stop." I hear him say.

"You're stupid Phil."

"Dan. Stop, please."

I push open his door, and stare at him, he's half sitting in his bed. His body looked so good -

"Fuck" I blurted out.

"What, Dan? What is it this time?" He said.

"Help me, Phil."

"Dan, you have to understand that everything I have tried won't help you. You need to help yourself. You have to stop drinking so much. It's every night, that you wake me up now. Are you ever sober anymore?" His words stung, but the alcohol in my system over powered any emotion. I took another mouthful of the chemical. Phil rubbed his eyes, and ran his fingers through his hair out of annoyance. He was pissed at me, but I was too drunk to stop.

"Fucking hell Dan. Put down the wine, for gods sake." He demanded. So I did, I dropped it onto his bedroom floor. Red liquid stained the carpet. I smiled, because I obeyed Phil. He didn't looked pleased at all though.

He took a deep breath in and said, "Come here, Dan." As he motioned to the other side of the bed. I always won, every time.

"What are you doing to yourself, Dan?" Phil sighed, but I couldn't reply, my mouth wouldn't let me.

-

My head hurt, my body ached. I knew what had happened. It had happened again. I got drunk off my face the night before, and now, once again I was waking up in Phil's bed. His side of the bed was empty. I knew that he was mad, he was always mad at me these days.

I could feel the vomit rising in my stomach and I ran to the toilet. I wished that all my emotions came out with it. I wanted to stop living like this, it had been weeks. I needed to tell Phil, I couldnt keep it bottled up inside any longer.

I stumbled to the living room, the headache increased in each step. Phil wasn't home. Being hungover was like a reminder that I am still a person and I couldn't just drown my sorrows in alcohol, and yet I still continued to find myself drunk every night. It was a never ending cycle. All because of this unending love I had for my best friend.

When Phil arrived home, he didn't smile at me. He looked disappointed, seeing me laying on the couch.

"Dan, we need to talk." He announced.

"Phil, I-" I needed to tell him that I loved him.

"No listen, ok. We can't keep doing this. You need some space.." He started. I didn't like where this was going.

"But, Phil.."

"Just stop, I've had enough of this. I'm going to my parents house for a few months. I trust that you will make the right choices and you won't kill yourself from alcohol poisoning."

"Please-" but he wouldn't let me speak.

"I packed my bags this morning, you do realise it's 1pm? This is not healthy for you. I'm not healthy for you." He said.

"I need you"

"Good-bye, Dan." And with that, he planted a kiss on my cheek and left with his bags and his pillow.

"I LOVE YOU!" I screamed, but he slammed the door and walked out.

I thought that this was going to numb my pain, but whatever pain I had before was nothing compared to the pain I felt when seeing Phil for the last time.

"Good-bye Phil."